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Thursday's Child

My Breastfeeding Journey

Parenting2

Oh breastfeeding… where to even begin?!  It’s such a beautiful thing, but also really hard, especially at first.  I’ve been trying to gather my thoughts for some time about my own breastfeeding journey, but I want to preface my story by saying this:  While it’s no secret that there are certainly some benefits of breastfeeding, it is not for everyone.  In this post, I am encouraging breastfeeding and giving my own “breastfeeding pep talk,” because I had a difficult time with it at first, but it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done.  However, not everyone will have that same experience.  Formula is great (and as you will see in this post, I used formula too!).  If you choose not to breastfeed or can’t breastfeed, you are no less of a mother.  Your baby is just as bonded with you.  You did the right thing for you and your baby.  But for those of you who are wanting to breastfeed your child, and those first-time mothers who are going through the challenges of it and are feeling discouraged or overwhelmed, I want you to know – IT IS SO WORTH IT, and you are not alone.

My mom breastfed both my brother and me (I think up until around 9-10 months or so).  She loved it and had a wonderful experience with nursing.  She was a big supporter of breastfeeding and was my advocate and “coach” of sorts throughout the process.  It’s very important to have someone in your life who can be your support if you decide to breastfeed.  Besides my mom, I had a cousin and a couple friends who really helped me as well – one sweet friend even printed me a whole “new mom” packet that she had created herself which included some extremely valuable information on breastfeeding.  I don’t know what I would have done without the support of these loved ones.

The second thing I wanted to say about breastfeeding is that – full transparency – it’s a lot of work.  If you’re only “lukewarm” about the whole idea of nursing, then there’s a good chance that you may not end up going through with it all (and that’s okay).  The reason I say that is because it takes a lot of effort – physical, mental, and emotional – and if you’re in a “we’ll wait and see” kind of mindset about it, it’s likely not going to be worth it to you to go through that effort.  And again, that’s okay.  It’s your choice, and there’s nothing wrong with what you choose.

In a nutshell, these just a few of the challenges that I faced in my breastfeeding journey that so many other mothers have faced as well:  The middle-of-the-night feedings that felt so isolating, the cramping and blisters and bleeding and intense pain (especially with mastitis and thrush), the isolation I felt once again as my doctors pushed off the treatments of these conditions to days later or to other doctors, the struggles with finding the right nursing positions as a new mom when Carson was so fragile and tiny, the mess of leaking and gushing milk everywhere all the time an being so terrified of Carson choking on it early on (only to then constantly worry about having enough supply later on when my milk supply regulated out), my fear of pumping at first, which was quickly replaced with relief that it didn’t hurt but also disappointment that it didn’t eliminate my responsibility to produce food around the clock for my son, trying to build a supply before going back to work, feeling too exhausted at night to pump, spending 20 minutes pumping and only getting 0.5 oz of milk total, trying to find time between meetings to pump, having to explain why I wasn’t at my desk or I wasn’t able to be on video in that meeting, the stress of my first work trip away from Carson, the planning involved with my trips with him (a ridiculous amount of logistics were involved!), and the bittersweet feeling that a chapter ended when he weaned himself.

I had no idea that it would be so challenging, but I was pretty dead-set on breastfeeding, and I wasn’t going to give up easily.  I’m a science person, and I think the scientific part of breastfeeding is fascinating.  One of my very favorite professors in college who taught my Scientific Principles of Human Nutrition class also taught an elective class that was entirely on the nutrition of breastmilk.  At the time, I couldn’t believe that there could be enough information on breastmilk alone to fill an entire semester class with material.  Although I was never able to take that class, I know now that there’s an incredible amount of information out there on the topic, and a lot more to be researched since there’s still so much that we don’t know about breastmilk.  To think that this food source is produced by mothers to perfectly nourish our babies in ways so complex that we are still learning new things about breast milk and its properties, which are nothing short of magical, even though people have been breastfeeding since the beginning of time – well, it can only be a testimony of God’s brilliancy in his design of the amazing intricacies and inner workings of our bodies and their anatomy.

Despite the strong desire that I had to breastfeed, I certainly ran into obstacles early on that really made me question whether or not I would be able to continue.  It started off alright… though I do remember being in the hospital and questioning whether Carson was latching well and if I had the positioning right, and then wondering if my milk was going to come in, but with a little help from my lactation consultant and a little practice, it did come in and everything seemed fine.  Once I was at home and nursing around the clock without the help of a lactation consultant, my nipples were sore and cracked and bleeding, which unfortunately is pretty common at first.  I’m going to be honest – even though I was determined to continue breastfeeding Carson, it was not enjoyable at all.  I hadn’t really expected to dread feeding him as much as I did.

The pain got worse instead of better, and I remember thinking that I felt entirely ill-prepared for the whole experience.  I was producing lots of milk, in fact, I felt engorged quite often, and it felt like my milk was literally everywhere.  I always had to have towels available when I fed Carson, and I was going through so many reusable breast pads that I decided that disposable was going to be the only way to go.  I wanted to wait to pump until Carson was a little older because I was worried it would affect my milk supply (and for some reason, I was scared of the pain that I might feel with the pump, which was actually non-existent when I finally did start pumping… but at this point, everything that touched my breasts was painful).  When I fed Carson, he would cough and choke on the milk because I had such a forceful letdown, and sometimes it would be spraying him in the face, and my other breast would be letting down as well.  It didn’t feel “natural” – it felt like chaos (and painful, on top of that).  I had trouble positioning him because he was so tiny, and I was trying to figure out what hurt the least, and once he latched, I was afraid to move.  Between feedings, I would be dismayed every time I looked at the clock and realized that it was already almost time to feed him again.

Mastitis

When Carson was 2 weeks old (it felt like I had been nursing him and lacking sleep for months by this point), my breast pain had come to a head – I was sobbing to my mom on the phone one evening about how terrible the pain was, and I told her that I just wasn’t sure if I would be able to continue.  She encouraged me to call the doctor in the morning, but I wondered what they could do for me.  By the next morning, it wasn’t only breast pain – I woke up achy with no energy to speak of.  Later in the morning, I noticed that the breast with the most pain now had developed large red patches, and I instantly thought “mastitis” because I’d been googling breast pain for days and knew what the redness looked like.  I was honestly relieved to see the redness because it meant that this likely wasn’t just the “standard pain” of breastfeeding and that maybe I could be treated, and immediately I called my OB-GYN to make an appointment.  Unfortunately, the receptionist told me that there were no available appointments, and that I could see if something would open up the following day, but we were expecting to get ice and snow the next day, which in Texas means that everything gets cancelled and people don’t go into work.  She warned me that I should watch for our city’s schools to be cancelled because that’s what they use to determine if they will be coming into work.  I felt defeated.  Even if the office wasn’t cancelled, how could I even make it through the day?  And what if the office was cancelled for days?

Although my mom had never had mastitis, she was the one who pushed me to spring into action.  She encouraged me to call my family practitioner and tell them that I thought I had mastitis and I needed antibiotics today.  They had me take my temperature over the phone, and sure enough, I had a low-grade fever.  Unfortunately, with Covid raging at this time, they told me that they couldn’t have me come into their office because of the fever and would have to see if they had availability for a virtual visit.  They weren’t sure if they could make that work on this day, as it was already pushing afternoon by this point, but they would call me back and let me know.  Once again, I felt panic, worrying that I wouldn’t be able to get antibiotics.  My mom kept pushing me to stay on them, to make sure the day didn’t slip away before we could get something scheduled.  Finally, they were able to schedule a virtual visit for 4:00 pm, and I’m so thankful for my mom’s advice, as I was able to get antibiotics that day, and the following day, everything was closed due to snow and ice as predicted.  (The next time I saw my OB-GYN and I explained what had happened, she told me that she felt really bad that I had had to go through that and that they can prescribe antibiotics for that over the phone.  Although this had not previously been made clear to me, it was a lesson learned!)  The antibiotics worked quickly, and even though I still had some minor breastfeeding challenges after that, it was amazing what a difference it made in the process to have my infection cleared up, and I was never in as much pain while nursing again.

Snowmageddon

About a week later, we had more snow and ice – at a level of magnitude for Texas – with bitter cold temperatures and no power for days.  Texas was quite literally in a crisis, with a collapsed power grid, homes and buildings not meant to withstand the low temperatures for days at a time, and millions of people panicking with no way to stay warm.  When our power went out and a strange alarm started going off in our home that we hadn’t heard before, we packed up our things and headed to my parents’ house, who lived about 35 minutes away (thank goodness for Jamie’s four-wheel-drive truck and his experience of driving in snow and ice).  They also had no power, but we had decided that it was too tough to try to figure out what the alarm was in the dark and cold and with a newborn (we were paranoid that it was a carbon monoxide alarm that we didn’t know about, and were frantically opening doors and windows, letting the frigid temperatures in, before giving up and leaving).

My parents have a wood-burning fireplace and my dad diligently tended to it, but having to go in and out to get the wood also dropped the temperature of the home pretty quickly.  Jamie, Carson, and I slept by the fire to try to keep Carson warm.  We were afraid to put him in his pack ‘n’ play for fear that he’d get too cold, so he slept on the floor in between us, but I was also terrified that he would be smothered by us, since we weren’t used to sleeping with him and because we were in sleeping bags.  Every few hours, I’d wake up to feed him and also take my mastitis medications, and I will never forget how difficult it was to get out of my sleeping bag in thirty-something degrees, strip down on top (to avoid getting milk everywhere), and feed my tiny baby, who was such a trooper throughout the whole experience.  Unfortunately my parents’ pipes ended up bursting because of the cold, which caused significant damage to their home, but our home was okay (it turned out to be one of the fire alarms, although we never did figure out why it was going off, so Jamie replaced them all anyway), and most importantly we had SURVIVED.  It warmed up, and we got power back, and I got better at breastfeeding.

Yeast Rash/Thrush

And so, the woes of my breastfeeding journey were almost over.  Although the severe pain of mastitis was long gone, I started feeling minor but uncomfortable pain that felt like needles on my nipples when Carson fed when he was about 4 weeks old, on my birthday – a week after “Snowmageddon.”  I also developed an itchy, bumpy red rash on the side of my breasts, my back, and my arms.  I made another appointment with my family doctor and I was diagnosed with a yeast rash and possible thrush on my breasts.  It had likely occurred as a result of being on antibiotics, and I was so worried that I would pass it to Carson, but thankfully, he never showed any signs of thrush.  They diagnosed me with an antifungal topical and provided some advice on preventing it as well.  When the rash persisted into the following week, they told me that I needed to see my OB-GYN and that they would no longer treat me for mastitis/thrush, but thankfully it had mostly resolved when I went to my 6-week appointment with by OB and I didn’t end up needing further treatment.

To be completely honest, that first month of motherhood was definitely not what I had envisioned, and I felt so bad for Carson at the time, since each of these challenges could have or did directly impact him, and yet I was just trying to survive, and that’s all I could do.  Spoiler alert:  Carson turned out just fine!  After that incident with the yeast rash/thrush, everything related to breastfeeding just kind of fell into place for me, and I suddenly found myself enjoying nursing Carson.  There was no more pain, and he had gotten the hang of it too.  I talked about my breastfeeding troubles that I’d had with other moms and realized that I wasn’t alone in my struggles.  In hindsight, I realize how much I would have benefitted from a lactation consultant after leaving the hospital, and next time I will not hesitate to get in touch with one early on if I’m having any trouble at all.  Thankfully, it became such a joy to breastfeed my son, and I was so glad that I had pushed through and gotten over the hump.  A special thanks to my mom, my cousin, and several wonderful friends for helping me get through those tough times!

Pumping

I started pumping around 5-6 weeks to get ready to go back to work, as my maternity leave was 8 weeks long.  I was pleasantly surprised that pumping didn’t hurt at all (I’m not sure why I thought it would), and Carson did take a bottle very well, but I quickly learned that although I no longer had to be the one feeding Carson every few hours, I still had to pump, which was less satisfying than feeding Carson directly from my breast.  Because I was trying to build my supply, I would try to pump between feedings, which was incredibly time-consuming… it felt like there was no time of the day that I wasn’t feeding C or needing to pump.  And that doesn’t take into account cleaning all the pumping equipment!  Oftentimes, I would forget to pump, and when I did remember, it would be too close to C’s feeding to pump.  In short, pumping was more annoying than I expected.

Going Back to Work

When I went back to work, I realized how difficult it was to find the time to pump, given that people would schedule last-minute meetings and expect me to be there, even though my calendar was blocked off for certain times each day.  I also didn’t realize that there was a very nice “mother’s room” at our office until several months into nursing.  Thankfully, I had been using the comfortable “well-being room” in our office to pump (I know how fortunate I am to work at a place that has these accommodations, even though every job should have them, in my opinion!), and people gradually learned my pump schedule, even though I tried not to talk about it!  As other people within my department had babies, I saw the breastfeeding/pumping talk become more normalized, which I really appreciated.  But my oversupply of milk decreased significantly over my first several months back at work, and I definitely had challenges getting milk in the evenings before bed because I was so exhausted.

Supplementing With Formula

When Carson was around 5 months, I had to take an unexpected work trip, and because I’d gradually used more of my stock of pumped milk while at work and when we were out and about than I was able to replenish, I didn’t have enough stock to get Carson all the way through my work trip.  At the time, it felt devastating to think about feeding him formula since I had worked so hard to exclusively breastfeed, but I didn’t have a choice.  In the end, though, I continued supplementing with formula when I got back, and it turned out to be a huge relief to me, as I wasn’t constantly worrying about having enough milk for him or having to pump every chance I got.  He had a little bit of formula mixed with breastmilk during his daytime bottles while I was at work, and I still nursed him in the mornings, late afternoons, and evenings.

Baby-Led Weaning

I started feeding Carson 1-2 meals a day of solid foods when he was 6 months old, and then 2-3 meals a day when he was 8 months old.  By 10 months, he was eating 3 meals a day.  This was part of a rather elaborate baby-led weaning plan that I had put together for him in hopes of trying to expose him to lots of foods (more on that in another post), and although I didn’t change any of his feedings, my supply slowly dwindled over time and he slowly became a little more disinterested.  (In case you’re not familiar with Baby-Led Weaning, it’s not actually a weaning process, but instead a process of feeding babies finger foods to complement their breast milk or formula feedings.  Eventually many babies/toddlers inherently wean themselves of breastmilk/formula as they learn to eat more substantial meals).  I stopped breastfeeding him completely between 10 and 11 months, but continued to feed him formula in a bottle until he was 1.  My goal had been a whole year of breastfeeding, but in the end, I was okay with (and proud of!) my 10+ months of breastfeeding him.  He weaned himself and was ready to be done, and it was bittersweet to have completed that chapter.  The best part was putting away my pump equipment, and I also felt proud of his solid food journey and confident that his nutritional needs were being met.

All in all, I feel so much more equipped to breastfeed my next child when the time comes, and a little advice and encouragement goes a long way for new breastfeeding moms.  There are so many things that are wonderful about breastfeeding.  I love that it didn’t cost money to feed Carson, and how convenient and available it was.  I literally nursed Carson in nature on hikes, on boats, planes, trains, and automobiles (not while we were driving of course!), and I never needed anything more than just me and the baby, and maybe a blanket to cover up.  My milk was perfectly formulated by my body (and ultimately by God) to sustain him.  And I can’t imagine how stressful it must be as a mother to have to worry about finding formula with the shortages going on right now.  It’s been a while since we’ve used formula since Carson is almost 16 months, but I know that’s put an added weight on mothers these days, whether you are exclusively on formula or supplementing.  I’m praying that the supply issue gets resolved soon.

But most of all, it was so sweet to share this bonding time with him, and I didn’t dread it like I used to.  It became a moment to relax, cuddle my sweet boy, make eye contact with him, love on him, and nourish him.  I adored the snuggles, the way it forced me to sit down and bond with my son in a way that no one else could, how Carson would look lovingly into my eyes as he ate, the way his eyes would start to close and almost roll back as the nursing relaxed him, his wandering hands that stroked my skin as he ate (and sometimes gave me love pinches!), the way he cried as soon as he knew he was about to nurse because I just couldn’t get him to the boob fast enough, the skin-to-skin time, the sweet sounds he made while eating, and the comfort it provided him (and me).  What a beautiful gift from God it turned out to be – not just for my son, but for me as a mother too.  It was so special.

I hope that other new moms can get through their breastfeeding challenges knowing that there is a light at the other end of the tunnel, and I found that light to be pure sunshine once I got through.  I plan on sharing some advice and tips that I learned along the way in a future post, but I felt that it was important to share my personal story in case it strikes a chord with another new mom.  Mothers are superheroes!  Whether you breastfeed or not, give yourself a pat on the back for all your work in raising the next generation!

A One-Night Staycation in Dallas

Food, Travel & Culture1

Back in November, Jamie and I dropped off Carson at my parents’ house and had a little one-night staycation in Dallas that was mostly centered around eating at lots of great restaurants!  We used to have a condo in Uptown Dallas, and although we only live about 35 minutes from downtown now, it was such a treat to go back to some of our old Dallas favorites and experience some new places too.  We got a hotel room downtown at the Omni Hotel that had a view of Reunion Tower and the Margaret McDermott Bridge.  The Omni is fairly centrally located and certainly within walking distance of some restaurants; however, all the places we planned to go did require a short Uber or car ride – something to keep in mind if you’re looking to walk.

My parents live southwest of Dallas, so the first place we stopped for a mid-afternoon drink and bite to eat was Paradiso in the hip Bishop Arts District.  We didn’t a have a reservation and there was a half hour wait, but it was the perfect amount of time to pop in some of the shops before we ate.  I’ve always been a big fan of Bishop Arts and its trendy shops and restaurants, but it had been a couple years since I’d spent a lot of time here, and I was impressed with how much it has expanded.

We even bought quite a few Christmas gifts in that short window of time before we got the text that our table was ready at Paradiso.  If you’re in the area, be sure to check out All Good Things for the cutest gifts, Urban Owl for fun and eclectic goods, and the wonderful Emporium Pies for a sweet treat.  Also, there’s the coolest little bookstore/coffeeshop/bar in an old home called The Wild Detectives that holds a special place in my heart!

Since the weather was nice, we sat outside in the beautiful courtyard, sipping on fun cocktails and people-watching.  We shared a wood-fired Italian sausage & stracciatella pizza topped with yummy little pickled teardrop peppers that I’m still swooning over.

We walked around Bishop Arts a little more, and then headed to our hotel downtown, relaxed a bit and changed for dinner, and got an Uber over to Uchiba, a bar owned by Uchi that’s just upstairs.  They offer some of the same types of items that you can order at Uchi, but it’s a casual and relaxed vibe and more of a place for snacks/small plates versus an elaborate meal.  This was exactly what we were looking for, given that we had already eaten a meal earlier, and we also were excited that we could watch the Aggies play at the sushi bar, but it felt much more fancy than a regular sports bar (and the food was 100x better too).

We had so many delicious small plates, including hama chili (always a favorite – yellowtail, ponzu, Thai chili, orange supreme) and sake toro (Atlantic salmon belly).  We stayed a while, and ended up taking a little walk after the game and going back to our hotel to bed… can you tell that we’re parents of a baby?!  However, if I had had just a little more energy, we would have gone to The Tipsy Alchemist, which is one of our favorite bars in that area.  If you’re ever in the area, go there and get a really fun drink – they are expensive but worth it.

Getting to sleep in without our sweet boy waking us up at the crack of dawn was one of the best parts about our little staycation!  We lounged and enjoyed our morning, before getting ready for our brunch reservation at Mercat Bistro.  I had been to Mercat many years prior and had forgotten how much I adore this little gem!  The setting is absolutely lovely – just like the most quaint little French bistro – and their brunch menu is full of treats, including pastries and my very favorite brunch drink, the Peche Mignon – champagne poured over a fruit fruit ball that melts ever so deliciously in the champagne.

We had a leisurely brunch, then drove to the site of a building that Jamie designed (always nice to see your work projects come to fruition!), before heading to our last stop on the way home – The Salty Donut, which I’m now officially obsessed with.  We wanted to try all the flavors of donuts, but we ended up with half a dozen that we cut in half so that my mom and dad could try all of them too.  We gave this place a double thumbs up – they are all SO good and so unique.

And then we met my parents to collect our little guy and drive home.  All in all, it was a really nice and relaxing weekend – just what the doctor ordered during a stressful period of our lives (Jamie’s brother was fighting for his life at the time, but has since been able to come home from the hospital and is recovering nicely).

Do you have any Dallas recommendations?  I’d love to create more posts like these, as traveling, food, and culture are some of my favorite topics of conversation!  It’s always nice to get firsthand recommendations (with photos) when you’re visiting somewhere new – or even cities that you know well, as there are always new businesses popping up.  I’m hoping to dive back into some trips we’ve taken in the past too… so many places, so little time!  Feel free to comment with your own recos!

A Third Trimester To-Do List

Parenting1

 

You guys know how much I love lists!  During my third trimester, we were in the midst of a Covid-19 surge, and I was working pretty much solely from home and in full-on nesting mode.  I created a list on my phone of all the things I wanted to get done during this time before Carson came, and it really helped me stay on track and be prepared for his arrival.  I wanted to share that here for first-time moms and anyone who might find the information useful:

  • Create a labor playlist with songs that will relax you or make you feel strong and encouraged.
  • Make your own birth affirmations with notecards, sharpie, and a metal loose leaf binder ring – see this post where I talked a little about them.  They can include Bible verses, tips, words of encouragement, etc.
  • Practice breathing and labor meditation.  For me, this looked like: lights dimmed, my labor playlist playing, lavender essential oils in my diffusor, and reading birth affirmations while doing my breaths.  I also practiced “mind over matter” and visualization of somewhere that makes you happy and relaxed, which for me was an infinity pool on our honeymoon.  I like to think that doing these things prior to being in labor will help your mind be prepared and more relaxed when you are actually in labor.
  • Clear photos off your phone if you’re running out of storage space.  Your child will take up more storage space than you ever planned!
  • Make arrangements for your children and/or pets during your hospital payment.
  • Contact your benefits coordinator at your company and/or your insurance company to see if there are any benefits available to you as new parents.  I was paired with an insurance agent specializing in pregnancies who set me up on a great pregnancy app and was there to answer any questions that I had related to insurance.  You typically have 30 days to add your child to your insurance after they are born, so I would also recommend putting the number to call + a list of any info that you will need in a safe and accessible place for after your baby is born (because you will be a zombie and this will seem like a lot of work, so make it as easy as possible on yourself!).
  • Complete all maternity leave forms, and if your job requires you to notify them of the baby being born, go ahead and identify who you will need to contact at your company and put that person’s contact info in a safe and accessible place.
  • Pack your hospital bag (I posted what I packed in my bag here) and make a list of day-of items that you will need to add.
  • Take any classes that you plan on taking before the baby is born.  Jamie and I took an online class from our hospital, this free Pampers birthing class, and the Taking Cara Babies Newborn class, which we would highly recommend for helping your baby get in an awesome sleep routine.
  • Set up any apps on your phone that you might use once the baby is born.  I found BabyConnect to be extremely useful for tracking feeding times, length of nursing sessions, frequency of diapers, etc.  There are two main reasons that these are helpful: 1.) because feedings are so frequent and the time between feedings will pass so quickly that you will be shocked that it’s already time for the baby to eat again, and 2.) because your pediatrician will ask you every time you go how many times they eat in a day, how many times they have a wet diaper, and how many times they have a poopy diaper, and it’s so much easier when you can just check your app.  I also got set up on TinyBeans, which is an app that you can use to post photos on every day that only the people you choose will be able to view.  It’s perfect for family members who live far away, and I didn’t know it at the time, but I love it for helping to organize my photos on a calendar, since any time I airdrop photos from someone else’s phone or edit them on an app and save the edited version to my photos, they appear out of order on my iPhone.  TinyBeans used to be free, but unfortunately started requiring a monthly subscription recently.  However, even though I now have to pay, it was worth it for me to continue using the app because my family members love it and I love having it.  (Family members do not have to pay to view the photos you post, just FYI.)
  • Purchase any postpartum recovery products that you might want (if you haven’t already done so) – check out this post for a list of the ones that I found to be most useful.
  • If you know you are having a boy and are getting him circumcised (or if you are waiting to find out the gender but know that you want a little boy to be circumcised), go ahead and buy some Vaseline/petroleum jelly and gauze squares to put at your baby’s diaper station, as this will be part of the baby’s care during his recovery.  Using a tube of petroleum jelly is easier than the plastic container where you dip your fingers in for this application, in my opinion.
  • If you’re planning on breastfeeding, make some lactation cookies or lactation energy bites to freeze for when you’re needing a little boost in your milk production.  You can also buy Mother’s Milk Tea for this purpose.
  • If someone is setting up a meal train for you, make sure you provide any details like any food allergies or dislikes, what time you would prefer for the meals to be dropped off, etc.  Whether or not you will be having a meal train, it’s a good idea to have some meals prepared in your freezer for the first few weeks.  You can make some to freeze, or even buy some prepared healthy meals from a grocery store or restaurant to put in your freezer.
  • On the subject of your freezer, if you are planning on breastfeeding and pumping, you might want to evaluate your freezer storage.  If you’re trying to keep a frozen milk stash, it can take up quite a bit of space, and it is necessary to keep it organized so you’re able to always pull the oldest bags first.  I bought these freezer organizers that are the perfect size for breastmilk bags.  We also had our fridge/freezer go out a few days before Carson’s due date, which felt like a nightmare at the time, but actually was a blessing in disguise because we purchased an inexpensive garage fridge/freezer to get us through until we got our indoor one fixed, and because we thought it would come in handy even after our regular one was fixed (and it totally did!).  We might not have bought the extra one if our other fridge hadn’t have gone out, but in the end, I don’t know how I would have stored all of my breastmilk without it.  If extra freezer space isn’t an option, you can certainly make it work, but just be sure that your freezer is cleared out as much as possible and organized.
  • Register with the hospital where you will be delivering the baby and do a little research on the hospital’s website to get a map, policies and things to know if you are giving birth there, or any other info that might be helpful for you.  We didn’t do a hospital tour because of Covid-19, but we did drive there with our map to see where we’d park, what door we would go through to get checked in, etc.
  • Do your kegel exercises!
  • Print out several copies of your birth plan and discuss with your OB.
  • Choose your pediatrician.  You will have to provide this information to the hospital when you get there to have the baby.
  • Wash your baby’s newborn and 0-3 month clothes in gentle detergent so they are ready when your sweet babe arrives.
  • Make sure you have everything you need for your baby’s arrival.  I know that I’m the queen of “trying to be prepared,” but the reality is that if the nursery isn’t finished yet, it’s really not a big deal.  As long as you have a safe place for you baby to sleep, diapers and wipes, some clothes and basics, and formula or breastfeeding supplies, you should be good for the first couple of months!
  • Eat lots of dates!  There is some research that shows that eating dates every day within the last four weeks of pregnancy significantly reduced the need for induction and augmentation of labor.  There have been some other studies more recently that also had favorable results with eating dates in the late stages of pregnancy, and although the studies might be too small to be extremely conclusive, it’s certainly worth a shot!  I was finding all kinds of ways to incorporate dates into my meals during those last four weeks!
  • Go for lots of walks.  It’s healthy and good for you and the baby.
  • Take belly photos.  Even though you feel like a whale and (if you’re like me) are living in sweatpants and t-shirts in the third trimester, you’re going to love looking back on the sweet pictures of your bump.  You’ll realize how fast it all went once your baby turns a year old (like mine just did!), and you’ll be glad that you have photos to reminisce on as you were growing your babe.
  • Do squats against a wall.  I was trying to do these most days to prepare for labor.
  • If you’re planning on breastfeeding, check with your OB about a lactation consultant.  I’m hoping to do a breastfeeding post soon, but I think my breastfeeding journey would have been a lot easier at the beginning if I would have met with a lactation consultant after I left the hospital.
  • Catch up on any shows or movies you’ve been wanting to watch!  When I think about my third trimester, I just think about Jamie and me watching a ton of movies and shows, which is somewhat out of character for me (I’m notorious for never watching TV!), but it was such a calm, relaxing time.

If you reach the week of your due date, here are a few additional items:

  • Purchase some hydration drinks for labor, or buy the ingredients for switchel (I found this to be such a refreshing drink during labor).  You can also go ahead and make the switchel if you feel like you’re close to labor, as it should last up to a week in the fridge.  I made a Ginger Lemonade Switchel without the mineral drops and “Bach Rescue Remedy” a few days before my due date.  I mentioned it in this post, but it was incredibly refreshing and delicious during labor.  I really feel like the ginger helped me have very little nausea throughout labor as well.
  • Have your partner clean the bathtub.  It will be nice to bathe in a very clean tub when you come home from the hospital (as soon as you’re allowed to bathe).
  • Drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea – it’s another old wives’ tale, but what the heck.  At this point in pregnancy, we’re all getting pretty desperate to just have that baby and will try anything!
  • Purchase some healthy snacks to have on hand when you get home with the baby.  If you plan on breastfeeding, you will be burning a lot of calories and will likely be very hungry!
  • Do some curb-walking, which supposedly can help your body go into labor.
  • Rest, take naps, and enjoy the peace and quiet.  Life is about to get busy (but for the better!).  Almost there Mama!

Do you have anything to add to this list?  Please share in the comments!

P.S. My third trimester, and my son’s birth story.

My Hospital Bag

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Let’s talk hospital bags!  I am a list maker and planner by nature, so I made a running list several months before Carson was born to ensure that I brought everything I would need to the hospital.  When it came to physically packing my bag, I wasn’t at risk for a premature birth (and I don’t have any history of that in my family), so I actually started packing just a few weeks before his due date.  There are always going to be items that you can’t pack until right before you leave, so my recommendation for new moms is to make a list of all the items you’ll need to pack at the last minute/the day of, and place that list IN your hospital bag (right on top – because hello, pregnancy brain!), so that it will be easy to find and remember on the big day.

My hospital bag was a giant rolling suitcase with lots of items – some that I ended up using and some that I didn’t.  I was all about trying to make my labor and delivery a positive experience, and I chose to bring a lot of items that would make me feel happy and comfortable.  Many of them were definitely “fluff” items, and I’ll share which ones I used or would recommend and which ones I wouldn’t bring next time.  Here’s the laundry list of hospital bag items (the items I would consider bringing are in bold, while the items I would skip are not bolded):

  • Nursing pillow – The lactation consultant showed me how to stack up pillows to breastfeed, but I did end up using my nursing pillow a little bit at the hospital.  Early on when Carson was tiny, it worked for me to have one regular pillow on my lap and then the nursing pillow sitting on top of that.
  • Delivery robe and gown – My mom had gifted me a matching labor delivery gown and robe set from this Etsy site, and I loved having this for photos after Carson was born.  Birth is messy, so I just wore the gown they gave me for his actual birth, but after that I took a shower (which felt like the best thing ever), and put on the pretty gown that my mom had given me and I felt like a new woman!  It was super comfy and I definitely recommend something like this since you are pretty sore “down there.”  Mine had some buttons for easy access while breastfeeding.
  • Nursing tank top – I didn’t end up using these while I was at the hospital (although they were very useful when I got home with Carson), but if you don’t have a gown, you may want to bring these for the hospital if you’re planning on nursing.  I would probably still bring one to the hospital next time just in case.
  • Nursing bra – I didn’t actually wear a bra with my gown that I wore in the hospital after he was born, and wore a regular bra home from the hospital (before realizing that nursing bras would be my new normal), but if you feel more comfortable in a bra or don’t have a gown that allows easy access to nurse at the hospital, you might want to wear one.  I lived in nursing bras day and night from the time I got home from the hospital for almost the entire year afterward, and I’d definitely still bring one to the hospital next time (and would probably have a better idea of what to do with it, haha).
  • Maternity leggings/workout pants – I wore workout pants while in labor, and then I wore my maternity leggings when heading home from the hospital.  They are nice and comfy.
  • Cardigan- In my opinion, you really only need a cardigan if you’re planning on wearing it to come home from the hospital, or maybe if you only bring nursing tanks to the hospital.  I wore a jacket home from the hospital, so I didn’t end up needing this.
  • Coming-home outfit for you – I wore maternity leggings, a comfy button-down denim maternity shirt, and brown leather booties to leave the hospital.  Looking back, I would say that the outfit looks 100% comfortable and only 50% cute (but I had just given birth for heaven’s sake)!  If I can find something a little cuter but still comfy next time (since we took photos), I will, but I will definitely NOT sacrifice the comfy.
  • Slippers- I had seen these on a recommended list for the hospital but didn’t end up using them.
  • Shower shoes/flip-flops or Crocs – I brought a pair of Crocs that I wear around the house because they are really comfortable.  Although I didn’t actually wear them in the shower, it was nice to have them right when I was getting out so I didn’t have to walk barefoot on the hospital floor.
  • Comfy walking shoes – These are nice to have for taking a walk around the hospital during labor and also when you leave the hospital.  They will typically send you down in a wheelchair, but I felt pretty good and chose to walk (and someone with a wheelchair followed behind me just in case!).
  • Warm cozy socks – As with the slippers, I didn’t end up using these (even though it was January).  The hospital had me under heated blankets and it was glorious.
  • Chapstick – I definitely used this.
  • Bobby pins, hair ties – These are very helpful for pinning back sweaty/gross hair, especially for photos.  I also brought a “sock bun” so that I could put my hair in a neat little bun for photos.
  • Hair brush, comb – These also came in handy when it was picture time.
  • Big comfy underwear- Since the hospital usually provides disposable underwear, you may not need to bring these – see this post!
  • Nursing pads- I didn’t end up using these in the hospital.  In my experience, you’re still waiting for your milk to come in at this point.
  • Lanolin Nipple Cream or coconut oil or another nipple balm – I did end up using Lanolin on my sore nipples, but later, after getting mastitis, a doctor recommended that I use coconut oil instead, as it’s antibacterial and allows the nipples to breathe a little better than Lanolin.
  • Nipple shield – Your lactation consultant may provide you with one, but you may want to bring one just in case if you’re planning on breastfeeding.  They can help with the pain of your baby latching when you first begin nursing, although I personally didn’t find it very easy to breastfeed with them on.  They are certainly worth trying though!
  • Dry shampoo, hair spray – I would definitely recommend this, and I’d also recommend taking a shower and washing your hair as soon as you realize that you’re in labor (if possible).  Although I showered the morning after giving birth to Carson, I didn’t wash my hair that first day because I was sore and it felt like a big undertaking.
  • Travel shampoo, conditioner, body wash – My hospital didn’t supply these, so I would recommend bringing them.
  • Deodorant, tooth brush, toothpaste – This goes without saying, but yes, you will be glad to have these items.
  • Lotion – Bring some that smells good and makes you feel good!
  • Razor – I brought one and used for my armpits, but I would strongly suggest shaving your legs when you realize that you are in labor (again, if possible), because it might be the last time for a while!
  • Makeup – This is certainly not necessary, but it made me feel prettier for pictures.
  • Face wipes or makeup remover – I would definitely recommend this if you are wearing any makeup in labor or if you plan on putting any on after labor.
  • Phone chargers – Don’t forget them!
  • Laptop, iPad, book, etc. – I’m just going to say, don’t bother.  You won’t use them!  At the most, you may be on your phone, but I was so “in the zone” and preoccupied with labor that I couldn’t think about much else.
  • Exercise ball – Although I had considered bringing this to the hospital, I didn’t end up doing this because it was too big/awkward to carry.  If you feel strongly about using one throughout all of labor and don’t mind hauling it to the hospital, go for it!
  • Massage oil – I had bought some with a relaxing lavender scent, but I didn’t end up using it.  Maybe next time!
  • Hand-held massager – I brought a little plastic massager, but like the massage oil, I didn’t end up using it.
  • Diffuser and essential oil – My mom gave me a diffuser and essential oils for Christmas and I love it.  I used it to practice my breathing and relaxation during my pregnancy, and then I brought it to the hospital and used it there.  I used a lavender oil during most of my labor and a peppermint oil when it was time to push.  Jamie had been given instructions before my labor on when to change the scent and he did very well with that job!
  • Heating pad – Although I used one once I got home, I didn’t use one at the hospital because they had heated blankets.
  • Cloth for wiping sweat – I didn’t need this, but it’s easy to pack and might be nice to have.
  • Eye pillow – I brought one, but didn’t end up using it.
  • Pillow and blanket – You definitely don’t need either one of these, besides a breastfeeding pillow, as mentioned above.
  • Speakers and a birth playlist – I created a whole labor playlist and totally forgot to turn on any music!  However, I spent some time before going into labor practicing meditation and breathing listening to this playlist, which was calming and good preparation for labor.  If you can remember to listen to it during labor, it’s probably very beneficial!
  • Breath mints – These are nice to have on hand.
  • Water bottle (with a straw!) – I would highly recommend a large Yeti or similar insulated tumbler with a lid and straw – it’s so much easier to drink when you’re reclining.  I actually filled mine with Ginger Lemonade Switchel – a great anti-nausea remedy and thirst quencher made with honey, water, apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, fresh ginger, and sea salt.  I made a pitcher of it on Carson’s due date and kept it in the fridge for the big day.  It was truly so refreshing and hydrating for me during labor.
  • Favorite snacks – My best friend gave me a care package for the hospital that included lots of different snacks for both Jamie and me (and even contained personalized chip packages congratulating us on Baby V – such a sweet idea!).  It was very thoughtful and also really came in handy, since we had to wait on the hospital meals and could only order them at certain hours of the day.
  • Breastfeeding booklet from my doctor- This was helpful to read in the weeks before labor, but when you’re in the hospital and have lactation consultants at your beck and call, you won’t need this booklet while you’re there.  Now I know!
  • Honey sticks – I had bought a whole giant package of flavored honey sticks (they provide a quick burst of energy and are in liquid form, so they are safe for a woman in labor), but I didn’t end up having even one.  I’ll still probably bring them next time and hope that I remember to have some!
  • Birth affirmations – A couple months before Carson’s due date, I started writing Bible verses and labor affirmations on notecards.  I fastened them on a metal ring to make them easy to flip through during labor.  During the few weeks before his birth, I practiced breathing, meditation, and prayer and read through the verses and quotes, channeling my inner calm and positivity.  During labor, Jamie read a lot of the verses and quotes to me and we said them together out loud.  It was highly motivating for me, so I’d definitely recommend, especially those going through labor for the first time.
  • Postpartum recovery products- You shouldn’t need to bring anything to the hospital, although I would definitely have some on hand at home – you can read more about that in this post.
  • A photo of a fun memory or loved ones – Some people bring a framed photo to make their hospital room more homey, and others bring a picture of a special memory to help with visualization during labor.  I brought a photo of Jamie and me on our honeymoon in a very beautiful and relaxing spot, and although I didn’t end up setting it out in the hospital room, I did keep that photo in my mind as I was trying to breathe through labor.  I tried to picture myself being there with all the wonderful sights, sounds, smells, and feelings, and it made me happy and helped to relax me.
  • Baby blanket or swaddle – The hospital will give you a swaddle, but you may want to bring your own if you’d like to get photos of your baby swaddled or laying on top of a blanket other than the one from the hospital.
  • Two tiny footie PJs or onesies – We mostly had Carson in what the hospital gave him until the last day (they typically give a couple baby t-shirts and he wore a diaper and a swaddle), just because we didn’t give him a bath until the following day after he was born, and he was still a little… crusty (for lack of a better word) from his delivery.  We didn’t want to put him in new clothes until he had his bath.  But it’s nice to have a few very tiny outfits to dress your baby in for photos.  Carson was 7 lb, 10 oz when he was born, and he was swimming in his Newborn clothing, which totally took me by surprise!  I might consider bringing one or two Premie or extra-tiny Newborn items to the hospital for my next babe.  Still, it might be good to bring Newborn clothes too just to be safe in case your baby is bigger than planned (the weight estimates given by the doctor can often be totally off!).
  • One pair of newborn socks or booties – These aren’t needed if your baby is wearing a footie of course, but if they are wearing onesies and are swaddled, you might be glad to have a pair.
  • One or two lightweight caps (and any other bonnets/hats that you want for photos) – The hospital will give you a little cap, and this is what Carson wore for the most part while in the hospital, except when we wanted some photos.
  • One pair of baby mittens – We didn’t end up using these in the hospital, although you certainly could.  They help prevent the baby from scratching their face.
  • One or two burp cloths – I don’t believe we needed these in the hospital, but they are easy to pack just in case.
  • Coming-home outfit for the baby – This is really only if you want your baby in something special for their homecoming.
  • A sign that you’d like to get photos of with your baby – Some people use a letterboard to post the baby’s name and stats, and others purchase different signs on Etsy or elsewhere that sit on top of or next to the baby in photos.  I brought a letterboard but decided not to use it for photos.
  • Baby book page or cardstock for footprint stamps – You will usually receive your baby’s footprints stamped onto a little certificate that the hospital gives you, but if you have a designated page for your child’s baby book, you can bring that with and ask them to stamp it as well.  Unfortunately, in the blur of giving birth, I forgot to get that page out and ask for them to stamp it!  Luckily I have the one that the hospital gave me.
  • Birth plan – Bring a few copies to hand to the doctor and nurses.  It’s probably best if you also provide a copy to your doctor before going into labor, so he/she is aware of your preferences for labor.  Just be warned – things don’t always go according to plan, and that’s okay!  The safety of you and your child are most important in the end.
  • Pediatrician information – Typically, you will let the hospital know who your child’s pediatrician will be when you check into the hospital (or before).  I wouldn’t have known this if a friend wouldn’t have told me while I was pregnant to go ahead and choose a pediatrician, but I’m glad she did.  I got some recommendations and did a little research and was ready with the information when the time came.  It’s always good to be prepared if you can help it, rather than have to choose a doctor on the spot!
  • A notebook or journal and pen – This might be helpful if you want to jot down any notes or memories, but to be honest, I had no time to be documenting anything at the hospital.  It’s probably more realistic to plan on doing this when you get home and settled.
  • PB&J sandwich – Jamie made us sandwiches when I was going into labor to bring with us to the hospital, and we were so happy to have them!  I ate mine after giving birth (I was starving) and he ate his while I was still in labor.  I would highly recommend, as all I’d had was broth and jello since we’d left the house that morning.  A sandwich never tasted so good!
  • Stroller – I didn’t actually bring this, but my friend who has two kids said that she brought her stroller to the hospital the second time around, and was really glad she did, as it’s a lot easier for your partner than carrying the baby in their carseat, especially if you have your hospital bag and other stuff with you.  I thought that this was a great idea!
  • Car seat – I hope this one goes without saying, but don’t forget to install a few weeks before you’re due so that you’re ready!  They won’t let you leave the hospital without it!

Hopefully this lengthy list is helpful to someone out there!  A final word on giving birth – I had all these big plans on what I was going to do and use during labor, and in the end, I forgot about most of it!  But the reality is that nothing else matters but your sweet babe, and in my opinion, the mental preparation before birth might be more important than what you actually bring to the hospital during labor.  I’d love to hear what you packed and found to be most useful during your labor experience (or what you didn’t use at all).

P.S. 10 must-haves for postpartum recovery, and Carson’s birth story.

DIY Shark Attack & Lifeguard Costumes

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I’m back!  Sorry for the hiatus… I’ve been thinking about this blog often and wanting to get back to it, but time just hasn’t allowed lately.  We’ve had a lot of family stuff going on, along with Jamie starting a new career, Carson trying 100 foods (can’t wait to share more on that soon!), traveling for the holidays, and Covid adventures, and I just haven’t had enough time in the day to dedicate any time to this space.  I hope to change that soon and be able to make it more of a priority, because it really is such an outlet for me to share the things that I love with others.

As usual, I’m late on my Halloween costume post (I know, I know… it’s after Christmas!), but I always have to share our DIY costumes after each Halloween.  You may remember our “Bun in the Oven” and Chef costumes from last year, or our Old Married Couple costumes that we wore the day that we returned from our honeymoon!  I will admit that a little less time goes into these costumes each year, but that might be the good news, right?  I quickly put these family costumes together, and although I had some learnings and there were some things I would have done differently, I am sharing those in this post to help out those who want to make these in the future.  Overall, I think they turned out pretty cute!

My parents came over for Carson’s first Halloween, and because their dog Shiner already had a shark costume, we thought it would be cute to have my parents dress up with us as well.  My mom and I were lifeguards, my dad and Jamie were swimmers who got bit by a shark, and Carson and Shiner were the little sharks!  I loved that these costumes were no-fuss.  Carson didn’t really know that he was in costume in his little shark outfit, and the men were happy that they didn’t have to wear something elaborate either.  Even my mom and I had it pretty easy!  The lifeguard and swimmer costumes might not be as ideal for colder-weather climates, but in Texas they were perfect, and the shark costume would be great for any weather since you could layer underneath it or use a jumpsuit with heavier material if needed.

To make the baby shark costume, you’ll need:

  • A gray hooded jumpsuit
  • Hot glue*
  • Red fabric
  • White felt (I used stiff felt, although I think the regular kind would probably work too)
  • Pencil
  • Ruler
  • Black felt
  • Gray stiff felt
  • Gray felt

*I used craft glue and hot glue, but had a lot of trouble with the craft glue (this is explained further in the steps below).  Based on my experience, I would recommend using hot glue for the whole project rather than craft glue.

Directions:

  1. Turn the hood of the hooded jumpsuit inside out, fold in half, and cut out a piece of red fabric that’s a little larger than the halved hood (maybe 1/2″ all the way around, although it doesn’t have to be exact).
  2. Next, turn the halved hood over, and repeat Step 1.  You should now have two pieces of fabric that roughly fit inside the hood – one on each side – to make a red lining.
  3. Fold the edges of the red fabric in so you can’t see the cut edges, and glue down on the inside of the hood – one on each side.  It’s easiest if the hood is still inside out while you glue.  In the photos, you’ll see that I was using craft glue, but the glue actually stained the outside of the hood, so I would recommend trying hot glue (and don’t go overboard with it), to try to avoid getting glue stains soaking through the hoodie.  The craft glue that I was using came out very goopy due to the tip on the glue bottle, so you could also try a craft glue that comes out in nice fine lines.  The material of the jumpsuit was probably part of the problem – the one that I got for Carson was pretty thin (I got it on Shein), but if you try using a thicker one, you might not have any trouble with the glue soaking through.
  4. To make teeth, lay your sheet of white felt horizontally in front of you.  Starting from the bottom edge, use a pencil and a ruler to make two marks – one at 2 inches from the bottom and one at 1 inch from the bottom.  It’s best if you make these marks right along the left edge.
  5. Starting at the mark that’s 2 inches up from the bottom on the left edge of the felt, draw marks at every inch going across the white felt horizontally to the other edge.  Then go to the mark that’s 1 inch up from the bottom on the left edge, measure 1/2″ going horizontally, and make a mark.  Now make more marks at every inch starting from that point that was 1/2 inch in, going across the white felt horizontally to the other edge like you did the last time.  The lower marks will be offset by 1/2 inch from the top ones.  You can then use the ruler to connect the dots in a zig zag pattern like the photo shows.DIY Shark Costume
  6. Cut out the zig zag pattern, going all the way across.  The teeth will go around the edge of the hood, and depending on how big the hood is, you may need to repeat this and connect the two strips of teeth with glue.  For Carson’s hood, the one strip was long enough.
  7. Use hot glue to glue the edge of the teeth onto the inside edge of the hood.  Once again, be careful with using too much glue so you can avoid having it soak through like I did.  The glue stains weren’t too terrible from a distance or in photos, but it would have looked better up close if they weren’t there!
  8. Cut out two circles in the white felt to make eyes – mine were about quarter-sized, but you an go bigger or smaller, depending on how big your hood is and how big you want the shark’s eyes to be.
  9. Cut out two smaller circles in the black felt to make the eye balls, then glue them on the white circles and glue the white circles to the top of the hood.
  10. For the fin, cut out a general fin shape out of the stiff gray felt (you can google the shape if you need a visual representation.  I just did one freestyle since it will be pretty obvious what it’s supposed to be – see pictures of finished fin below).
  11. Next, using the stiff gray fin as a guide, cut out a fin shape from the soft gray felt that’s just slightly larger than the stiff gray fin (especially on the bottom where it will attach to the jumpsuit – you should have about an inch of excess felt on the bottom).  Use the soft gray fin that you cut out to cut out another soft gray fin that’s identical in size to the first one.
  12. Glue the soft gray fin pieces on each side of the stiff gray fin, leaving about an inch of edge on the bottom of each soft gray fin pieces that you will be able to attach to the jumpsuit.  Glue these flaps onto the jumpsuit (high enough that the baby can sit comfortably without the fin being underneath their bum!) and let dry.  Your little shark costume should be ready to wear!

To make the “shark attacked surfer” shirt, you’ll need:

  • A plain white t-shirt, or whatever shirt/outfit you’d like the shark bite to be on
  • An old towel
  • Red acrylic paint*
  • Brown acrylic paint*
  • Paintbrushes
  • A paper or plastic plate
  • Red hairspray*

*If you’re looking at making a more permanent “bloody” shirt, I would recommend looking at some other options besides red hair spray and acrylic paint.  You’d probably be better off going with some fabric paint that can be washed.  I made these costumes with the intention of one-time use.  I would also be careful with the hairspray “blood stain” rubbing off on clothes, furniture, etc. when you’re wearing it.  We didn’t find that it did this, but just in case, it’s better to be safe!

Directions:

  1. I went outside for this one just to avoid the fumes and spraying my home on accident!  Lay out the t-shirt on an old towel.
  2. First, spray the shirt with the red hairspray, making a medium to large imperfect spot.  For one of the tees, I put the “injury” on the side of the body, and on the other, I put it on the shoulder area.
  3. Next, put the red and brown acrylic paint on the paper plate and mix some together using a paintbrush.  I liked the red-brown color for blood, but I also used some dots of brighter red too which I mixed with the red brown on the shirt itself.  The more imperfect it is, the better!  I tried to focus the acrylic paint on an area in the middle of the hairspray spot to represent a “heavier soaked” level of blood.
  4. Finally, let the shirt dry, ideally for 24 hours or more.  As mentioned above, just be careful that the hairspray doesn’t rub off onto clothes or furniture!
  5. Pair the t-shirt with swim trunks or board shorts and some flip-flops or water shoes for the full effect!

To make the lifeguard sweatshirt, you’ll need:

  • A red sweatshirt (a red t-shirt would work as well)
  • A white iron-on lifeguard decal (I purchased mine from Amazon)

Directions:

  1. Wash and dry the sweatshirt.  I didn’t do this, and I regretted it later!  I think if I would have, the white decal wouldn’t have the red bleeding that it did.
  2. Follow the instructions on the decal to iron it onto the sweatshirt.  Again, mine bled a little bit, but I think the best way to avoid this is to wash and dry the sweatshirt first.
  3. Pair with some cut-off jean shorts or board shorts.  Add a fanny pack and whistle set, like this one on Amazon.  I had ordered these for my mom and me, but they didn’t come in on time.  They would have made for some cute accessories, but luckily the outfit is very recognizable without them!

We think they turned out pretty well, especially since they were basically thrown together the weekend of Halloween!  Finding the time to make the costumes was a bit more difficult than last year, but making family costumes for Jamie, me, and our little babes was something I had dreamed about for years.  It’s nice that there are homemade family costume ideas out there that can be put together in 24-48 hours.  I’d love to hear your DIY costume ideas!

P.S. DIY “Bun in the Oven” & Chef Costumes and DIY Pizza & Pizza Delivery Guy Costumes!

10 Products for Postpartum Recovery

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Photo is by the amazing Wilderlove Co.

Today we’re getting down and dirty in this post with a list of products that are helpful to have when you are recovering from having a baby.  It’s not exactly a fun topic, but let’s face it – we’re all aware that labor is not an easy feat, and the recovery that goes along with it isn’t a cakewalk either.  Thankfully, there are some products that exist on the market that can ease some of the pain, discomfort, and inconvenience.  This list does not include breastfeeding products, as I plan on doing some separate posts on breastfeeding.

When I was pregnant with Carson, I didn’t know what I would really need after giving birth, and to be honest, I was a little embarrassed to purchase some of the products that I had read about.  (Pre-Carson, I would have also been mortified to even write a post on this topic, but after having a kid, every last shard of modesty has gone out the window and all topics are fair game.).  I now realize that the best time to purchase the more “embarrassing” items are when you’re eight months pregnant, because you have a very visible excuse as to why you’re going to need them.

In any case, no one really cares or pays much attention to what you’re purchasing anyway, and if you really can’t get over the embarrassment of standing in line with your perineal spray, stool softener, and XXL Super Absorbent Overnight Maxi Pads, there’s always Amazon.  I would definitely recommend stocking up on these a few weeks prior to your baby’s due date, because the last thing you want to deal with when you get home from the hospital with your newborn is making a pharmacy run OR trying to explain what you need at the store to your shell-shocked partner who is still trying to figure out what hit him.

Before we begin, I have some advice that my manager at work so wisely gave me when I was pregnant (I so appreciate the “moms supporting moms” culture at my job, and my boss has been wonderful in this area – she really gets it):  Hospitals provide postpartum products to you while you’re there, and in most cases, they will give you enough that you can take some home.  Bring home as much as they’ll allow you to – you will not be sorry that you did this, trust me.  The list of products below are the items that I mentioned that you may want to have on hand in addition to those items that you bring home from the hospital:

  1. Large/high-waisted cotton underwear – Nothing too tight, too low, or too pretty!  You will get disposable underwear at the hospital, and I would recommend bringing home some clean pairs of these (you can actually wash them and reuse them for a while, just to get through your postpartum period).  But depending on how many pairs you bring home, you will likely want to buy some additional comfortable underwear to use postpartum.  I had bought some basic cotton pairs of underwear for maternity purposes and was able to use those postpartum – “period panties,” so to speak.  If you have a C-section, you’ll want underwear with a higher waistline that doesn’t rub against your healing scar.
  2. Pads – the super absorbent, thick kind – For those of you who haven’t had a baby, as I eluded to above, you will be making up for the periods you missed in the 6 weeks following the birth of your child, so get ready!  It’s not fun, but you will be preoccupied with your new baby and won’t have a whole lot of time to think about it.  The best thing to do is to buy some giant pads and move on, and just know that it won’t last forever (even though some days it may feel that way!).
  3. Ibuprofen – Make sure that you have a big bottle of ibuprofen on hand.  Hopefully you won’t need it for long, but it definitely helps ease the discomfort following birth (and the pain that goes along with breastfeeding as well, if you plan on doing that).
  4. Peri squirt bottle – I took the one from the hospital home, so this is always an option, but Frida makes an upside-down version which is more ergonomic and easier to use without making a mess.  It will help keep the area clean.
  5. Perineal spray – The hospital gave me Dermoplast numbing spray, which was definitely a lifesaver, and I did take that home and used it right up.  Thankfully, I also had a bottle of Earth Mama perineal spray on hand, and there are numerous other brands on the market to try.  (My nurse advised me not to use the Dermoplast every time I went to the bathroom after surgery, and I’m not really sure of the details on that, but you may want to discuss with your doctor just to ensure you know the frequency at which you can use these products.)
  6. Stool softener – You will be scared out of your mind to have your first bowel movement after birth, but thankfully, if you’re diligent about taking stool softeners and also eating fruit and fiber, it won’t be as bad as you think it’s going to be.
  7. Instant ice pads – The hospital gave me these amazing single-use pads that instantly turn into ice pads when you snap the ends together, and Frida makes a similar product.  I could only bring one or two home with me from the hospital, and I really wished that I had more when I got home.
  8. Witch hazel perineal pad liners – This is another great product that I was able to take home from the hospital, but I used these for a while – long after I was already out of ice pads.  They would definitely be worth having on hand, as you can go through them quite easily, and they are cooling and soothing to the area.  Once I ran out of what the hospital sent home with me, I bought some of the witch hazel pads (they were round) and continued to use them for weeks after giving birth, but I like the Frida pad liners because they fit in your underwear better.
  9. Heating pad – As your uterus contracts back to its original size, you’ll experience some cramping, especially when/if you breastfeed.  It was nice to have a heating pad to help with this in the first week or so – of course, be careful with your newborn (I wouldn’t recommend using it while you’re holding the baby or breastfeeding, but immediately after breastfeeding can be nice).
  10. Sitz bath – This is the one thing that I never had nor used postpartum, but I wish I would have (especially given the infected stitches that I had).  A sitz bath is a shallow bowl used for cleaning the perineal area.  You can buy postpartum bath salts, or you can use regular Epsom salts – either one will help soothe the area, discourage infection, and encourage healing.  I plan on getting one the next time around!

My hope is that this post will help make postpartum more comfortable for someone out there!  It’s not something that’s typically talked about, but I realize now how many products exist on the market that serve this purpose.  Just go to Target in the baby section – there will be a whole range of postpartum products right near the breastfeeding products, which I never knew existed before having a baby.  There are lots of different brands of many of these items that work just fine, but hopefully this list will provide some basic guidance on what is useful.  You got this, Mama!

P.S.  Carson’s birth story, and my fourth trimester.

My Fourth Trimester

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Whew, where to begin?  As I mentioned briefly in this post, I had a pretty easy pregnancy and a fairly uncomplicated delivery, but the “fourth trimester” was much more challenging.  It’s hard to put into words now… back when I was right in the throes of it all, I probably could have written a book about the different struggles we were facing – it felt like it was one thing after another going wrong with my recovery, and then our adjustment to life with a newborn and our lack of sleep was definitely more difficult than I had expected.

To give you an idea, I got mastitis when Carson was two weeks old, and we experienced Snowmageddon when he was three weeks old (think no power in zero degree weather for days on end + a wood-burning fireplace + firewood kept outside = thirty-something degrees indoor temperature, then add trying to get the hang of nursing a three-week-old baby in frigid temperatures after having mastitis… it was a little rough, to say the least).  When Carson was four weeks old, I had thrush following my round of mastitis antibiotics, and at five weeks old, he was going through a “leap” and/or growth spurt and was very fussy for several days – something we weren’t yet used to (but would eventually learn to deal with!).  And then at six weeks, I went to my OB-GYN for my check-up and found out that I wasn’t healed… more on that below.

(This whole Snowmageddon event was way less glamorous than it appeared in these photos, ha.  We were freezing our buns off!)

Anyway, it’s a good thing that I didn’t write this post when I was in the midst of it, because as time goes on and you have a chance to step back and reflect, you certainly gain perspective.  While it was one of the most challenging times of my life, the reality is that I suddenly I woke up one day on the other side of it all and I realized that I loved being a mom and that having my sweet boy was the best thing that ever happened to me.  When he was a newborn, I was just trying to survive each day, but now I feel like I can enjoy him – and I do!  Our favorite part of the day is when we are spending time with him.  I also recognize just how short the newborn period was, because even though it felt long when I was going through it, I feel like I blinked and now we’re already in a new phase with a busy little boy who sleeps through the night and learns new things every day.  I feel like myself again, and things look so much different now than what you’ll read about in this post – what a difference that a little bit of time (and good sleep!) can make.  Anyway, here’s an update on my fourth trimester:

Recovery:  While Carson’s birth was pretty straightforward – I did have stitches, but I didn’t have a C-section nor any complications when he was born – there were some unexpected complications that arose during the healing process.  In the weeks after his birth, neither my pain “down there” nor my bleeding was really improving, but because I’d never given birth before, I also didn’t know what was normal.  When I went to my six week checkup with my OB-GYN, I found out that one of my stitches had become infected, so I was prescribed some topical medication and told to come back in a month.  However, after that month, it still wasn’t healed and had developed significant scar tissue, so my doctor had to cauterize the area.  After that appointment, the pain started improving, and when I went back for another checkup two weeks later (twelve weeks after I had given birth), the area was finally healed.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t all…

I scheduled another appointment a couple weeks later to get an IUD placed, which is the most recommended form of birth control when you are breastfeeding (and even when you’re not) due to its high efficacy.  I had never had one before, and they do make you aware up front that there is a slight risk of uterine wall perforation.  This risk is higher in breastfeeding women, but it is still relatively low, and I never thought that I would be one of the very few women to have this happen.

Unfortunately, the device did perforate my uterus.  The nurse practitioner had put it in, and my doctor believes that it most likely happened during the placement, because she had had some trouble placing it, and I had immediately felt significant sharp pains during the procedure that came and went but never subsided.  An ultrasound is typically scheduled for two weeks after the procedure to ensure that the device was placed correctly, and because of my sharp pain, the doctor pushed up that ultrasound by a week, where it was confirmed that the device was no longer in my uterus and would have to be surgically removed from my body.  I had an x-ray so they could locate the device, and a surgery was scheduled for the following day.  My doctor had only had to surgically remove an IUD two other times in her long career, so it was a pretty rare circumstance.

Thankfully, it was only a day surgery that wasn’t painful, but I had to be intubated and put under general anesthesia, and I had three small incisions in my abdomen.  The doctor found the device right near my colon, and I had given her approval to reinsert an IUD when she was removing the other one, just because that would be the safest and easiest way to place it now that they were performing the surgery.  Interestingly, when she went to place the new one, the device immediately re-punctured the hole that it had originally punctured through, and because of this, the doctor didn’t reinsert it, and told me after the surgery that she would not recommend that I get another one any time soon.  I had to resort to other less optimal forms of birth control, but I’m glad to have recovered and have those complications behind me!

Sleep:  The most obvious challenge with having a newborn is the inevitable lack of sleep, and despite being well aware of this prior to having a child, it really was a doozy for me!  Yes, I was as tired as I look in all these photos, ha.  What I can say is that I definitely love and value (and need) my sleep!  There is nothing that truly prepares you for the sleepless nights or long days of being a walking zombie.  Sleep affects your mood, the way you handle a problem or conflict, and can literally impact the way you view life!  Carson began sleeping seven to ten hours straight most nights after he was three months old (THANK YOU, Taking Cara Babies!), and once he did, I felt so much happier and more in control of my emotions, and everything felt much more manageable.

Breastfeeding:  I was determined to breastfeed, but I had my fair share of breastfeeding struggles as a new mom.  My mom had loved breastfeeding and had told me all about how amazing it is, but although she did warn me that it’s difficult at the beginning, it’s not easy to remember all the details about WHY it’s hard at first.  I don’t think that I really fully understand what hardships to expect when I started, and that’s why it was probably the most surprising struggle for me as a new mother (plus, some women just have more breastfeeding challenges than others, and I was one of those who experienced some of those challenges).  I plan on doing a whole post (or two!) on breastfeeding and the tidbits that I learned along the way (with a special thanks to several friends and family members who helped immensely), but if I’m being completely honest, I absolutely hated it at first.  I thankfully didn’t have issues with my milk supply like many women experience, but it was painful, especially when I got mastitis during my first two weeks (as mentioned above) and then got a yeast infection on my upper body and breasts following my round of antibiotics for the mastitis (fortunately Carson never showed signs of thrush).  However, once I got through these early challenges, breastfeeding started going smoothly, and by 6-8 weeks, I really, really loved it (and still do).  My mom was so right!  And I learned so much in the process that I can’t wait to share.

Emotions:  I’ve always been a pretty even-keel personality type with very few mood swings, but the first two weeks postpartum are absolutely insane.  I was lucky to have a good friend check in on me during my first week at home, and she casually mentioned that she pretty much cried every night when the sun went down for the first couple weeks after giving birth to her son.  I was so relieved to know that I wasn’t the only one!  My emotions were literally all over the place, especially at night like she had mentioned.  I noticed significant improvement after two weeks in this area, but I still had random emotional moments every so often for the first six weeks or so, although it can be hard to attribute these specifically to hormones, a lack of sleep, or just general adjustment to life with a newborn (it was probably all of the above!).

I distinctly remember Carson’s one month appointment with the pediatrician… Jamie and I hadn’t hardly gotten any sleep the night before, and in our frustration and exhaustion, words had been said to each other, and my eyes were all puffy from crying.  I still felt so on the edge of tears and was barely holding it together, and then the nurse asked me, as they do with the typical screening of mothers, if I was having any symptoms of postpartum depression, and I completely lost it and burst into tears while at the same time I told her that no, I wasn’t (haha).  Postpartum depression is certainly nothing to laugh about, but I think that moment is funny to me now because I really didn’t experience postpartum depression and was actually pretty emotionally stable at this stage, but we all have tough days and she caught me in the wrong moment!  I can laugh about it now though.  I do feel blessed that I didn’t have depression nor a whole lot of emotional issues besides the usual hormonal stuff.

Marriage:  A few weeks before Carson was born, I had asked a friend who just had a baby about life with a newborn, and she had told me that the newborn stage gets a bad rap, but that it’s really not as bad as people say and that it will bring Jamie and me closer as a couple.  Full disclosure:  When Jamie and I were going through the newborn stage, we did not feel that it was bringing us closer!  Now, looking back after having gotten through it together, we would probably agree with her and say that we do feel stronger and closer as a couple having experienced this together, but at the time, I definitely remember thinking that having a newborn was NOT bringing us closer and wondering what was wrong with us.  The exhaustion and the big life adjustment brought more conflict, heated moments, and fights, but once we started getting more sleep, that helped a lot.  Also, without sharing too much, my issues “down there” didn’t expedite the romance!  Thankfully, we got through it and came out of it stronger and better than before.

This was before our first date night without the baby!

Exercise:  Besides regular walks that we started back up a week or two after Carson was born, exercise was admittedly nonexistent for me until about twelve weeks postpartum.  I was still dealing with lots of pain/discomfort down there for most of those twelve weeks, and I just wasn’t able to prioritize anything other than walks early on.  Jamie and I started modified Insanity Workouts together around twelve weeks postpartum, and then in early June we bought a used jogging stroller and started running together again, but course we were past the fourth trimester by that point!

Weight & Body Changes:  I quickly found out that the weight that you gain during pregnancy takes a while to come off, even if you really don’t gain a ton during your pregnancy.  To be honest, I didn’t put a lot of focus on my weight during the fourth trimester – I rarely, if ever, weighed myself at home during the first several months, but I did notice that every time I went to the doctor, my weight dropped, and a little over four months after giving birth, I was down to within three pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight by my surgery.  Most of this was probably due to breastfeeding and healthy-ish eating… I still had a decent appetite because of the breastfeeding, but some of the not-so-healthy foods that I had craved during pregnancy no longer appealed to me as much (fried foods, ice cream, etc.).  That being said, my stomach is definitely “softer” than it was before having a baby… I guess that’s the price we pay, right?  I’m hoping it tightens up over time and with core exercises.  I was also still dealing with the flare-up of rosacea on my nose that had gotten worse in late pregnancy since I couldn’t take anything for it… not the greatest for self-esteem, but then again, I wasn’t really going places or attempting to look “cute” at this point anyway!

Work:  There are a few good things that have come out of the pandemic, and one of these was Jamie’s opportunity to work from home in his job, as well as my opportunity to slowly transition back to work from maternity leave.  I started off working from home for several weeks, and then went into the office on an as-needed basis (typically a few hours on a few days per week), and finally started working from the office Tuesday through Thursday with modified hours (I work from home in the later part of the afternoons).  It has been absolutely wonderful to have the flexibility to do this with my company, and it’s been such a blessing – far from the traumatic going-back-to-work experience that I had envisioned.

The most interesting thing to me about going back to work three days a week was that I enjoyed it so much from the first week I started doing it – I had really dreaded it, but when I actually started going into the office, I felt so productive and loved the distraction-free environment.  I could be 100% engaged and not feel like I was juggling too many things.  I felt more confident, better connected with my teammates, and more up-to-date on current projects.

I am SO appreciative of my mom, who watches Carson four days a week – she was the number one reason that I had an easy transition back to work, and it puts me at ease to know that Carson is being cared for by someone who loves him as much as I do.  Both my parents, and especially my mom, have stepped in to assist when I had surgery, when Jamie and I were desperately in need of sleep, when I had mastitis, and on so many other occasions.  We are so grateful for their help and support.

 

Life Adjustment:  I would be lying if I said that having a baby wasn’t a major life adjustment.  We certainly missed our date nights and freedom at the beginning – because I waited a while to pump, it just wasn’t an option at first, and then when I did finally start pumping, it was a lot of work to prepare everything needed for the baby when we would leave for only a few hours.  But eventually, we got used to that (especially when I went back to work), and we also got used to taking the baby with us when we went out, which seems like such an incredible feat when he was tiny!

The funny thing is that before I had a baby, I had all these big plans of traveling the world with my little babes in tow and imagined that I would be the type of mom who wouldn’t be afraid to go anywhere with her newborn.  But then COVID-19 happened, and then I actually had a kid, and well… let’s just say that it wasn’t as easy as it looked!  I used to be so nervous to take Carson anywhere (especially by myself!) because it took so much effort, and there were a lot of logistics involved, and we were paranoid that he would make so much as a peep in public (spoiler alert: He did, because hello, he’s a baby, and we even lived to tell the tale), and because doing anything out of the routine was a big freaking deal.  We found, though, that the more we brought him places, the more comfortable with it we became.

We also had to adjust to not getting as much done around the house and not having much free time to do the things that we wanted to do.  That hit me hard at first as I nursed my newborn around the clock.  I remember thinking so often, how is it seriously already time to feed him again?!  You end up spending so much time feeding your baby early on if you breastfeed, and I mistakenly thought that once I started pumping and someone else could feed Carson that I would have a little more free time, but instead you end up pumping during that time!  I felt like I didn’t have time for anything else.  Jamie found it challenging to not have his usual nights and weekends to clean up the house and watch his shows – he now had to watch the baby a lot during those times, because I was on maternity leave, and by the time the evenings/weekends rolled around, mama needed a break!

And finally, with COVID-19 still a risk when Carson was born, as well as all the typical health risks of newborns that doctors and hospitals warn parents about, Jamie and I had to make some decisions as parents to help protect Carson until he got older and stronger, which led to some unexpected family conflict.  We ultimately had to protect our newborn son first and foremost, and we are grateful that we were able to do that (in the midst of a global pandemic, no less).  We have gotten through it and will do what we can to ensure that we can facilitate and build those relationships with family, because we care so much about our family, and we want nothing more than for Carson to have an amazing relationship with his family too.

We certainly had our set of challenges, but WE SURVIVED the newborn stage, and thankfully we turned a corner and the “fifth trimester” has been nothing short of wonderful!  It really was as though a switch was flipped, and our happiness is so tangible now.  My heart feels like it could burst every day with the love that I have for our boy.  He is everything to us – the light of our lives – and Jamie and I have now truly experienced the pure joy that is being a parent.  This will be my last “trimester” update, but without a doubt, I’ll be updating you on parent life as we go!

 

 

Carson’s Birth Story

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The birth of a child is interesting in that it’s a day that you’ll never forget, yet the whole experience is a complete blur, almost in a way that makes you question whether it really happened (besides the fact that you now have a living, breathing human that requires your attention 24/7, haha).  It’s true how quickly you forget the pain you endured – I really believe our brains block it out immediately for future reproductive purposes!  You wonder for months, or maybe even years (if you’re like me!), about what your children’s births will be like, envisioning every scenario that you think could possibly happen, and yet there always seems to be some sort of curveball that you didn’t see coming.  It’s a magical event, yet so UN-glamorous at the same time.

When my mom described Carson’s birth to her friends, she told them that it was very “Jessica-style” – I had been talking to her in the days prior to his birth that I really didn’t want to start laboring late in the night (I’m not a night person), and I started labor early in the morning on a Monday and Carson was born by the end of the day.  She joked that I checked that off my to-do list for the week – very true-to-form for me!  I was fortunate to have a relatively smooth labor and delivery and a healthy little boy.  Here’s the full story (warning: long post alert, with some slightly graphic details ahead!):

We’ll start on Carson’s due date, January 23rd, which was the day that things started progressing.  Up until that day, I had really felt very normal.  My pregnancy had been smooth and uneventful, my sleep had been good, and I wasn’t even too uncomfortable like everyone says you’re supposed to be as it get close to giving birth.  In fact, I had been starting to wonder if that was a bad sign… in my family, we tend to all be born after our due dates (my brother was actually born 13 days late), so I was beginning to think that we were a long way off from Carson’s birth and that he may have to be induced.  I had been doing everything I could to encourage dilation and the onset of labor – eating dates and “labor-inducing” cookies, drinking raspberry leaf tea, doing lots of curb walking, etc.  On the morning of his due date, I woke up feeling a little off.  I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep (which was surprisingly rare for me, even at this stage of pregnancy), and strangely, when I took my morning vitamins that I took every day around the same time, I felt instantly nauseous, went to the bathroom, and texted Jamie, who was upstairs, that I thought I was going to throw up.  I am not a person who vomits very often – hardly ever – and he came running down asking if I was okay, but I didn’t end up throwing up and the wave of nausea passed.  It definitely raised a flag for me though, as I hadn’t even felt like I was going to throw up any other time during my whole pregnancy, even in the first trimester.

Besides feeling tired throughout that morning and afternoon, I wasn’t showing any other signs of the imminence of labor until after a walk.  Jamie and I were taking lots of walks around the neighborhood at that time, and on those walks during those last few days is when I noticed more significant Braxton Hicks contractions.  At the end of a mid-afternoon walk on that particular day, I had a Braxton Hicks contraction that seemed to last a pretty long time, and I also felt a sudden urge to pee (though not unusual for the end of pregnancy, haha), so I went to the bathroom as soon as I got home and saw that I had lost my mucus plug.  I had been told that I was 1 centimeter dilated at the doctor’s office the day before, but I knew that people can walk around for weeks slightly dilated, so losing the mucus plug was encouraging!  Maybe I wouldn’t have to wait a full week to meet our little guy!  The rest of the evening, I waited for any additional signs of labor but didn’t experience anything significant.  These were the last photos I took of my belly before I went into labor – I took them on his due date (note the VERY comfy sweatpants and tee that were basically my third trimester uniform, haha):

Fast forward to the following day, when once again, after a walk, I went to the bathroom and had my “bloody show” (it’s not as gross/scary as it sounds, thankfully).  Things were progressing!  Yet once again, the rest of the day went by and I went to bed without any signs of labor.

BUT around 3:45 am the following morning, January 25th, I woke up to a cramp low in my abdomen – unlike the Braxton Hicks contractions I had, it was slightly painful (though nothing too bad – just noticeable).  I noted the time and dozed off again, only to wake up again at 45 minutes later with another one.  It was a stormy morning with lightning and wind, and so neither Jamie nor I was in a deep sleep, and I mentioned to Jamie that I could possibly be in labor.  The funny thing is that Jamie is the type who doesn’t like to get his hopes up, and since there had been some episodes of possible labor signs in the previous days, he said something along the lines of, “It could be labor, but it could also be a few days yet.”  I remember rolling my eyes, thinking that this time it for sure felt different!

By 6 am, the contractions had picked up in frequency, and I felt confident that I was starting labor (and Jamie now believed me too, haha!).  We started packing up our last minute items.  I was having contractions every 15 minutes or so, but they weren’t too painful yet.  We showered and ate breakfast (I had my usual peanut butter and banana toast), and then I rested – somewhat restlessly – and started getting into focus mode.  It became hard to concentrate on anything else, not necessarily because of the pain, but instead because I think my body was preparing mentally for what it was about to go through.  The weather had cleared up and it turned out to be a gorgeous sunny day, so we went for a short walk (stopping for the contractions as needed), talked to our families a few times, I sat on my exercise ball, and we sort of just waited around as the contractions gradually got more intense and more frequent.

Around 9:30, we felt that we might have to head to the hospital soon, as my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and pretty painful, but I was hungry and knew I wouldn’t be able to eat for a while after we went.  Ironically, in the weeks before Carson’s birth, I had thought a lot about what my last meal before should be before we head to the hospital – you guys know that food is very important to me, after all – but our fridge actually went out two days before Carson’s due date.  We had an appointment with the repairman scheduled and had bought a garage fridge in the meantime, but we had lost all of our food, so unfortunately we didn’t have too many options.  I chose to make some orzo pasta, heated up some frozen green beans in the microwave, mixed them together, and ate with some butter, salt, and pepper!  Not necessarily a stellar or super healthy “last meal at home before the baby is born,” but I remember thinking that it tasted really, really good!

At around 10:15 am, my contractions were 1 minute long, still 4-5 minutes apart, but very strong… I was definitely in a lot of pain, and I remember Jamie helping me through them as I tried different positions and he read off some of the Bible verses and birth affirmations that I had prepared.  We left for the hospital soon after that – it was less than 10 minutes away, but of course by the time I got there, the contractions had reduced in intensity and I was worried that they would send me home.  We took a short walk around the hospital parking lot before deciding to check in (I had to pee!), and on the elevator, I had another intense contraction and could hardly take the steps to exit the elevator.  We were led to a triage room, where the nurse let me know that I was only 2 centimeters dilated but I was 80% effaced, which was definitely an improvement from Friday’s appointment, when I was 1 centimeter dilated and 30% effaced.  She told me that they were going to monitor me for a couple of hours, and if I wasn’t progressing, I could decide whether to be induced or go home.  That slightly stressed me out, because I certainly didn’t want to go home… but the nurse reassured us that she felt like I would progress on my own, based on my contractions (maybe she just said that to make me feel better, but it worked!).  This was our last photo as a family of two:

My contractions had once again seemed to decrease in intensity, but we took a walk around the hallways, and that got them going again.  Jamie and I chatted with each other and called our parents while we waited in the triage room and as I worked through each contraction – this part of labor felt long as we waited on the doctor to arrive.  The contractions were now strong and frequent, and we were anxious to find out my status.  Eventually, around 2 pm, my doctor arrived and informed us that I was now 4 centimeters dilated and was progressing well, so they would send me into the labor and delivery room.  We were so happy!

At this point, my memory is a little blurred – I think because my pain increased quite a bit.  They prepared our labor and delivery room, and then Jamie helped me walk to it (it felt very far away).  I had some very extreme contractions during this journey and as I was getting settled in the room.  This was definitely the peak of my pain, because once I was in the labor and delivery room, I asked for the epidural.  It took a little bit for the anesthesiologist to show up, and in the meantime, they gave me a Covid-19 test (up my nostril… I’d never had one, and I hated it as much as I thought I would!).  The epidural itself wasn’t bad at all – the Covid test felt worse than the epidural!  The anesthesiologist did an excellent job with the epidural.  I could move my legs and still had feeling in all areas, but I was very comfortable and couldn’t hardly feel any pain throughout the rest of the labor.  After my epidural was administered, the doctor let me know that I was 5 centimeters dilated and still 80% effaced, which made me happy to know that I did experience a good portion of labor without an epidural, just to know what it feels like.  But I highly recommend an epidural – 10/10!  I think it helped me be more aware of what was going on, as I really do think my brain sort of blocked my memory during the more extreme times of pain.  The doctor also broke my water to help progress things along.  Unfortunately, my doctor also let me know that she wouldn’t be able to deliver my baby because she had been on call all weekend, so it would be a different doctor in their practice.  Thankfully, I was mentally prepared for this to happen (I’ve read enough birth stories, haha!), and I rolled with the punches.  (The nurses also informed us that they adored Dr. Walters, the doctor who would be delivering Carson, and I was in full agreement after the whole experience!  She was awesome). I ate some chicken broth and gelatin (fun!) just to help reenergize for what was to come, and then I rested and even dozed off during the next several hours, although it felt shorter than this.

At around 8 pm, I was at 7 centimeters, and the doctor recommended giving me a small dose of Pitocin to increase the contractions and speed things up.  To be honest, I had wanted to avoid Pitocin as a labor inducer if I could, but I was getting tired and ready to meet our boy, so I agreed to a small dose.  Unfortunately, Carson didn’t react well to the Pitocin – his heart rate immediately started dipping down.  (I found out later that I had reacted the same way to Pitocin when my mom had given birth to me.). They monitored his heart rate for a short while, though it felt like a long time, and it wasn’t getting better.  I could tell that they were concerned, which made me worried, and I could see that Jamie was anxious too.  They ended up stopping the Pitocin pretty quickly (although again, it felt like a long time for me), and they put me on oxygen to help stabilize the baby.  This was also scary for me, as I associated oxygen with something going wrong, but because I had been wearing my mask up until this point (thanks, Covid-19), I did feel like the oxygen helped me relax a little once I got over the initial alarm of having to have it.  Sure enough, with the oxygen and without the Pitocin, Carson’s heart rate went back to normal, and I continued to progress on my own without it.

Finally, at about 9:45 pm, I was fully dilated and effaced and ready to push.  I remember thinking that it’s crazy how we find the energy to push after our bodies have already gone through so much, and I had it easy compared to many since my labor wasn’t super long! (My mom was in labor with me for 36 hours with no pain meds… God bless her).  Jamie held one leg and the nurse held the other, and Dr. Walters told me that when I felt a contraction coming on, I should push for 10 seconds (they would count with me), and then breathe, and then push for 10 more seconds, and then breathe again, and then push for 10 more seconds, and then I would rest until the next contraction.  It was more tiring than I thought, but Dr. Walters was very encouraging and was cheering for me, as was our our amazing nurse Jenson and my sweet husband, and I gave it everything I had, hoping to get that baby out ASAP!  I remember being extremely thankful for the short periods of rest in between contractions, and I also remember watching Jamie’s face each time I pushed to give me any indication of how I was doing.  He told me at one point, “We see his head!  He has dark hair!” which was very encouraging to me, and after about 45 total minutes of pushing, at exactly 10:30 pm, I gave birth to Carson Woods Veurink.  I felt him escape my body, and breathed a huge sigh of relief.  He came out crying, and they immediately placed him on my chest, still wet and very warm, and it felt like just a few seconds before he calmed down and seemed right at home in my arms.

I was still in a daze for quite a few minutes after he was born, although I immediately started talking to him and stroking his soft little cone-shaped head.  (Thankfully, the cone head reduced significantly within a matter of a few hours!)  It was such an immense feeling of happiness and relief to have him in my arms.  He was so tiny (why do just-born babies look so much bigger in photos than they really are?!), but he also looked so long!  HIs hands were itty-bitty, and his eyes were open and looking around.  I delivered the placenta and they stitched me up while I held him and nursed him, and an hour or so later, they got his weight and measurements, Vitamin K shot, etc.  I barely felt anything that they were doing “down below” because I was so entranced this new little life.

We had texted our parents that “Baby V” was born about a half hour after his birth and that an official announcement would be sent to them soon.  I wanted to enjoy the skin-to-skin time with him while I could, but I knew that everyone was excited to hear.  We finally announced his name, weight (7 lb, 10 oz), length (21 inches), time of birth, and sent a photo to our parents and siblings a few minutes before midnight.  This was the photo we sent:

Our bright-eyed little boy!

And do you see what I mean about him looking long?!

I was SO exhausted and still had to move to the next room for recovery/newborn care (so much room-changing!), so I knew that we wouldn’t be able to announce his birth to our friends and other family until the following day after I’d gotten a little rest.  In our new room in the wee hours of the morning, our amazing neonatal nurse Kaitlyn gave me the rundown on how often she would be checking up, how often I would be feeding Carson, etc., and I could barely keep my eyes open!  I was so relieved when she swaddled Carson and put him in his hospital bed beside me and turned out the lights.  Jamie settled into his bed, and I watched Carson fall asleep and then immediately fell asleep myself.

When I awoke a few hours later to feed him, I realized just how tired I had been, and it felt like a dream come true to see our sweet baby boy in the flesh all over again.  I couldn’t stop staring at him!

I took a shower (which made me feel SO much better) and the nurse helped us give Carson a sponge bath, since he hadn’t actually been bathed yet. Then we took more pictures and announced his arrival to the rest of our family, our friends, and posted on social media.  We stayed in the hospital until Wednesday afternoon, and spent the rest of our time in the recovery room resting up, getting poked and prodded (well, at least Carson and I did), enjoying skin-to-skin time, and learning all about our baby boy.

The whole experience of being pregnant and giving birth made me completely in awe of the complexity of God’s design for a woman to grow a child inside of her.  God was so purposeful with the human body and all its intricate functions, and while it’s amazing what we know now about pregnancy and birth, it’s also crazy what we don’t know yet.  There were several times during my pregnancy when I asked my doctor about something, and she told me, “Honestly, no one knows why this is/what exactly takes place/how that works yet.”  There is still so much to learn about the human body, which is pretty wild given science and technology these days!  It’s so humbling.  I am thrilled to have gotten to experience labor and delivery, and we couldn’t love our precious son more.

Thank you for reading our story and being with us through our pregnancy!  I am excited to share our postpartum experience and more about parenting in general.  We are learning every day!

P.S.  My first, second, and third trimester updates, if you’re interested!

 

 

My Third Trimester

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Carson is a month old, and we’re finally starting to get in a daily rhythm, which makes this mama very happy!  I’ll go into more detail on that in another post, but I’m glad to finally have some time to share on update on my third trimester (first trimester post is here and second trimester post is here if you’re interested).  It feels so long ago now that I was pregnant!  I have two disclaimers for this post:  1.) This pregnancy, including the third trimester, was very smooth and honestly pretty easy for me… BUT the “fourth trimester” has been anything but that so far.  Nobody has the best of all worlds, and you never know what the subsequent pregnancies will bring, so I’m certainly not smug about it, but I do feel fortunate that it was a straightforward pregnancy with minimal pain or disruption of regular life.  I could certainly use some prayers that things start going more smoothly here in the fourth trimester though!  And 2.) As with my other pregnancy posts, I try not to go into anything too personal, but typical pregnancy topics will be discussed, so be warned!

Symptoms:  Jamie totally had sympathetic insomnia for me during the third trimester, but I thankfully slept really well all the way up until the last couple days or so.  I wasn’t even getting up in the night to go to the bathroom much until the very end, which totally surprised me, given my small bladder!  I definitely was starting to get uncomfortable with Carson’s constant kicking though.  At the end, I was feeling a little more lethargic/heavy, but my energy levels really weren’t too low (nothing like the first trimester!).  I had an episode of hormonal acne and rosacea during the third trimester (which I had problems with periodically before pregnancy as well), and it was no fun because there was very little that I could take for it that was considered safe for pregnancy.  Other than that, there wasn’t much to speak of, thankfully!  I felt like my third trimester rivaled my second one for being pretty smooth overall, up until the last few days.

Cravings:  I definitely craved sweets in my third trimester (and probably ate way too many of them, ha), and was way more hungry in general.

Aversions:  I didn’t really have any aversions.  Still loving all the foods!

Weight:  I gained a total of 27 pounds in my pregnancy, which comes out to 14 pounds in the third trimester – it was the trimester with the most weight gain for me!

Clothes:  Honestly, because I worked from home during most of the third trimester due to COVID, I pretty much had a uniform (and it wasn’t pretty!):  maternity leggings or workout pants or PJ pants and an old T-shirt.  Sexy, I know.  But it was glorious to be able to dress so comfy every day!

Workouts:  I stopped running in the third trimester just because it got to be too much, but we did so much walking.  At the end, we were going on 2-3 walks per day, trying to get that baby to come out!  I was also doing squats and a few yoga positions for pregnancy regularly, but that’s about it.

Doctor visits:  They get so frequent at the end of pregnancy!  There was nothing really significant – I didn’t have any issues with my pregnancy, so it was pretty standard, and we didn’t have a third trimester sonogram.  He was always measuring normal, blood pressure was good, heartbeat was good, and he was always still moving a lot.

Movement:  As mentioned above, Carson was SO active, to a point of being an annoyance at the end. He was a very active little boy up until I gave birth – my doctor kept telling me that he might slow down in his movements as I got closer to his due date, but it never happened.  I think it was a day or two before I went into active labor that I got so frustrated one night because he wouldn’t settle down and was kicking/punching me so much, and I remember saying to my mom, “Is it bad to be annoyed with a child who is still in the womb?!”  But I love him anyway!

High points:  Getting to work from home for most of the third trimester due to COVID turned out to be such a blessing – I was free from the worries of contracting COVID at the office, I was able to dress so comfortably during the more uncomfortable stage of pregnancy, and I was also able to prep for the baby during my work days, like washing his clothes and boiling bones for stock to put in the freezer.  I would highly recommend being pregnant in the winter months – it was such a cozy time for Jamie and me.  We weren’t doing anything, but because it was cold for much of the time and got dark so early, we didn’t feel like we were missing out on anything (also, COVID helped with that, ha).  We watched a lot of movies and shows, cuddled, made lots of soup, and just enjoyed being homebodies for that time.  We also took the Taking Care of Babies newborn class which I would highly recommend for anyone with a newborn (even if it’s not your first child!) – it was incredibly helpful for us.  All in all, it was really nice to have those slow days of rest and relaxation before the chaos of a new baby hit!

Low points:  Again, the kicking and movement got pretty uncomfortable at times, and Jamie also had to work a TON in the month or two before Carson was born, which was a little stressful.  Thankfully, he was working from home, and I was too, so we were able to spend lots of time together even if he was working really long days.  But the biggest challenge that we faced during this trimester was that our fridge went out two days before Carson’s due date.  We had to throw out all of our food and figure out a plan with the unknowns of when our baby boy would arrive, which was a little stressful.  God was looking out for us though – it turned out that our fridge, which was only a few years old and one that we loved, was actually a model that was part of a class action lawsuit that allowed us to get the fridge fixed for free (and even get back the money for the cost of the discarded food), and had it gone out even a few weeks later, it wouldn’t have been covered by the lawsuit.  We were so thankful that this ended up happening when it did, and it was fixed before we got home from the hospital with Carson (thanks, Mom, for being there when the repair guy came out!).  In the meantime, because we had just been talking about getting a fridge/freezer for the garage for breastmilk storage, we decided to go ahead and purchase one from an open-box appliance outlet, and we got a great deal on one with a tiny dent on the side and even had it delivered the same day.  It all worked out so well – we didn’t have to go without a fridge/freezer, we got our garage fridge that we had been talking about, and we got our kitchen fridge fixed for free shortly thereafter.

Random:  I can’t say enough how glad I was to have slow, quiet days and lots of time to prepare for labor and our baby boy’s arrival, especially since it was our first child.  I had a long to-do list at the start of January (so much to do before the birth of a first baby!), but I was able to accomplish it all fairly quickly and then had time to read, do the non-necessary but fun things that I’d been wanting to do around the house, and just mentally prep for labor and for being a parent.  We also strictly quarantined in the last several weeks to ensure that we didn’t get exposed (if Jamie would have contracted COVID at the time of my labor, he wouldn’t have been able to be with me for Carson’s birth), and while we missed seeing family and friends at the very end, it was a time for us to have lots of together time with just the two of us, and I’ll always remember those sweet, slow days.  It was much needed, and when the time came for Carson to arrive, we felt ready.

And we never made it to 41 weeks!  I’m excited to share Carson’s birth story next, so be looking out for that!

P.S.  Our little guy’s nursery tour, and four ways to do a social-distanced baby shower.

 

He’s Here!

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If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen that our sweet baby boy, Carson Woods Veurink, was born on January 25, 2021 at 7 lbs, 10 oz and 21 inches long.  He has his mama’s nose and his daddy’s lips, and we are completely in love.  We are slowly but surely learning to navigate life with a newborn (I imagine that just about the time when we get the hang of it, he’ll be onto the next stage, because that’s parenting for you, right?!), but we’re very fortunate that he’s a good-natured little guy.  I’m excited to post on my third trimester and his birth story sometime soon, but in the meantime, we are enjoying time with our little boy and learning more about him every day.  Thank you to all our family, friends, and readers for your love and support!