Archives for September 2019

Back in this post, we had talked about French parenting – discipline, manners, and more.  Yet there was one topic that I avoided, simply because I thought it deserved a post of its own:  Eating like the French!  Food is one of my favorite topics, and the French are very skilled at raising great eaters.  Their children, even very young ones, know how to behave at the table, they have expansive and mature palettes, and they also seem to enjoy eating healthy.  How do they do it?!  There is so much theory and education around this subject in France that Karen Le Billon has written an entire book on it, French Kids Eat Everything, and it was quite enlightening.  An American mom raising her two daughters in her husband’s hometown in Northern France, Karen tells the story of her family’s food journey – the pressure she feels from schools, family, and friends to educate her children about food and cure their picky eating habits, and how she creates a “family food revolution,” leading to happier children and happier parents.

Both French Kids Eat Everything and Bringing Up Bébé, the book that had inspired my French parenting post, give tons of tips and tricks on the topic, but there were a few points that especially stuck out to me which I have listed below.  My own parents prescribed to the majority of these techniques, so even though we don’t have kids yet, I’d say that most of these theories are tried and true in my family to some extent.  The others will be interesting to practice with my own children someday to see how they work!  Certainly each of these principles take effort and planning to implement, but I believe they are probably well worth it for the effect they have on children over the long term.

1. Nudge your baby (or child) onto an eating schedule.  The French start this early, basically from the first few months.  The goal is to get the baby onto the family’s regular eating schedule as soon as possible, which, for the French, roughly corresponds to breakfast at 8 am, lunch at noon, afternoon snack at 4 pm, and dinner at 8 pm.  This can be tailored to the needs and schedule of the family, but the idea is that kids (and even adults) will eat better, balanced meals if they’re forced to have to wait rather than snacking throughout the day whenever they feel hungry.  The effect of getting small babies adjusted to this schedule is a full night’s rest for the parents.  Of course, this is easier said than done, but the French seem to pull it off quite well, so it would certainly be something to try.  While snacking throughout the day is something that French don’t really believe in, the afternoon snack, or le goûter (pronounced “luh goo-TAY”), is very important to French children.  It is something substantial enough to tide them over until dinner and often includes something that satisfies their sweet tooth as well – maybe a combination of dairy, fruit, and sweets.
2. Serve food in courses, vegetables first.  I’ve never really thought to do this, but it makes sense: when kids are hungry, and veggies are the first thing served, there’s a good chance they will eat them.  Everyday meals don’t have to be fancy, but some cooked or raw veggies before the meal isn’t too difficult to serve.
3. Everyone eats the same thing.  There is no “kid food.”  You’re not doing anyone any favors to make special versions of your “adult meal” to cater to the tastes of the children, because kids will learn to expect it (which means more work for you) and they will never get accustomed to trying new things or learn to like something that they previously disliked.  If you serve several items for each meal – some familiar and some familiar – and they watch you eat it and enjoy  it, they will be more inclined to want to try it, which brings us to the next point…
4. You just have to taste it (but it will be served again).  This was a non-negotiable at my house growing up.  My mom has this theory that if she started serving rattlesnake every week for dinner, it would even become normal and we even might start liking it.  It sounds crazy, but it does take time to get used to different flavors and textures, and tastes change as we age, so continuing to try something often leads to acquiring a taste for it.  At our house, we had to try all the foods, even the things we didn’t like, each time they were served, and strangely, our former “dislikes” became tolerable and eventually even good.  Funny how that works.  One thing to note: making kids taste all the foods on their plate shouldn’t be confused with making them finish what’s on their plate, as you don’t want to force them into unhealthy habits.
5. Educate – Talk about food often and in a positive way.  In France, people talk a lot about food, both with other adults and with their kids.  It goes beyond what’s “good for you” or what kids like and don’t like; instead it’s a full sensory experience.  Sour, tart, sweet, or salty?  What is the texture like?  How is one food different from anther, and how is it similar?  How does it look and taste when it’s raw versus when it’s cooked?  How does each type of fruit or veggie grow?  Go explore the produce section of the grocery store together and pick out some new fruits or veggies to try!
6. Avoid emotional eating, food rewards, etc.  As Karen Le Billon describes it, “Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.”  This is a difficult one, as I think many of us remember getting taken out for ice cream as a reward for something – good grades, winning a game, or something similar – and personally, I don’t really see anything wrong with that.  I do, however, understand how giving cookies or candy to an upset child to soothe them could lead them to poor habits like emotional eating when they get older.  And instead of threatening children that they won’t get dessert if they don’t eat their meal, they make it more of a logical sequence that they follow – “first we eat our meal, then we eat dessert.”  Being cautious about associating food with emotional experiences is something to consider, although I personally think there doesn’t have to be a hard and fast rule on this.
7. More color, less processed.  Encourage kids to try fruits and veggies in all colors of the rainbow, and work on eliminating processed foods where you can.  It’s healthy, yes – but it’s also good to promote adventurous eating.  The more they are exposed to unprocessed foods, the more they will learn to like them (see #4), and as they try more foods, they will learn to love tasting new things.  Variety is really important for the French when it comes to the menu, and as a general rule of thumb, they try not to serve the same thing in a week (or at least not served the same way).  This even goes for the side dishes.  While it’s normal for children to still have a preference for sugary, high-fat processed foods (even French children), planning and exposure will help kids learn to appreciate unprocessed foods as well.
8. Make it fun.  The French love food, and they want their children to love it too, so they do what they can to make mealtime fun.  The family meal is social – a time when they gather together to laugh and share stories.  Kids get parents’ undivided attention, and there are often family rituals that form during this time.  Parents will experiment with flavors and textures and serve foods different ways each time to make it a more enjoyable experience for the child, building on things that they already like and serving them with something they may not have tried.  They don’t disguise healthy foods, but instead make them into fun shapes or create a fun presentation, like a happy face, on their plates.  A festive table can go a long way as well.  Most importantly, if you enjoy mealtimes, your kids eventually will too.

I found these tips to be inspiring to me as we look to start a family some day, but I realize that everyone has differing experiences and opinions.  I’d love to hear what you guys think.  Have any of these tips worked for you and your children?  Do you have additional advice to share?  Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know your thoughts!