Pregnancy is certainly a time in which people inevitably offer a million pieces of advice (often unsolicited) on everything from their personal taste in maternity clothes and what you should/shouldn’t be eating to what choices you should make during labor and when you should stop breastfeeding. There are so many books out there over every topic that you ever needed to know about, and those topics that you didn’t really need to know about, too. As a new mom, it’s a lot of info to sift through. Where do you even begin?
One thing that I hear a lot these days is to trust your gut and go with your instincts, and I do believe that this will be key as I journey down the parenting road. However, as someone who is brand-new to this whole parenting thing, I have to wonder if I even know all of my choices. Many (more brave) parents are probably fine just “winging it,” but if I’m being completely honest with myself, I’m just not that person. There’s no right or wrong – if you’re comfortable birthing and raising your little human without having to hit the books, then more power to ya, mama! We all only wish we could be more like you… but if you’re like me, you’ll be devouring every book you can get your hands on before the baby is born, if for no other reason but to just feel like you’re prepared (even though they all say that nothing can really prepare you for parenthood… so all this prep is probably largely for my own piece of mind).
I also actually enjoy listening to people’s pregnancy/parenting advice, as long as they’re not super judgmental or trying to force their opinion down my throat. After all, I can always learn something from another parent, but especially from those whom I respect and see eye-to-eye with. I have some really wonderful friends and family who have offered priceless recommendations and pieces of advice that have been so helpful for me as I venture down this parenthood road. And to all my fellow millennials, even though it might seem difficult to apply the advice of the older generations to the modern parenting style you’ve been envisioning for you with your child, don’t underestimate those older and wiser people who have been there, done that, AND have a bird’s eye view of parenthood as opposed to being new or knee-deep in it all… you will probably find that much of their advice is indispensable, or definitely worth contemplating, at the very least – or at least that has been my experience so far.
For the sake of gathering the resources that I’ve been recommended in one place, I have made a list of them here. I’ve read a few of the books already and there are several others that I haven’t had the opportunity to read yet, but I do plan on doing so. This is sort of a personal list to check off (because we all know how much I love doing that), but I look forward to utilizing all these resources as I grow and raise my children, and I know how much more confident I will feel in my parenting if I am informed and prepared.
Please let me know what you think of these books and resources if you’ve read/used them, and I’d love to hear about what else you recommend from a pregnancy and parenting standpoint! There’s one thing I’d like to point out before we get to the list: no philosophy, book, or method is for everyone. What works for one child may not work for the other. Just because you enjoy a certain book or gain a lot of perspective from one doesn’t mean that you have to agree with every topic or point discussed in that book. All of that’s okay!
Obviously this list is tailored to my interests and what I perceive to be my personal parenting style – I would currently describe it to be more science-based, practical, and structured, ideally with high value placed on children being knowledgeable about other cultures and well-traveled, adventurous eaters, and well-behaved/well-disciplined overall. I am certainly a realist, but I’m a daydreamer too, and I have lots of ideas about how I want to make my kids’ childhood magical in simple ways. (We will see how well this description actually fits when I become a parent, since we know that things don’t always go as planned and we all evolve and change in our thinking as well). Some of these things I mentioned may strike a chord with you, and others may not, or maybe you’d say that your parenting style is completely different from mine in every way, and once again, that’s okay. The best part about parenting is that you can raise your child exactly how you want to. But with that in mind, here’s what’s on my bookshelf and some other resources that I have used/plan on using as well:
Conception
- Ava Bracelet – I mentioned in this post that I used this to track my cycle and get pregnant, and I would definitely recommend it to women who are trying to conceive. I actually got mine secondhand on Poshmark, and all you have to do is download the app to start tracking. You only wear it at night, which is perfect – I wanted to avoid letting the whole world know that we were trying for a baby! Although I’m sure everyone has a different experience with it, it worked like a charm for us. I will definitely use it again when we try for another baby.
- Awakening Fertility: The Essential Art of Preparing for Pregnancy by Heng Ou – Although I have not read this book, it looks beautiful and nourishing for the body and soul as a woman looks to conceive. It’s on my list for when we start thinking about baby #2!
Pregnancy & Labor
- The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy: Or Everything Your Doctor Won’t Tell You by Vicki Iovine – My boss gave this book to me as a gift when she found out that I was pregnant, and it is hilarious. It covers topics from pregnancy myths to sex during pregnancy and the real scoop on delivery and everything in between, shared in a humorous, irreverent, unapologetic, and entertaining way, with absolutely no sugarcoating. It made me realize that all those weird things that happen during pregnancy are, in fact, normal, and if you have a sense of humor, it will really get you rolling. Who doesn’t need a bit of comic relief when you’re going through one of the most traumatic and important events that you might experience in your ENTIRE LIFE?!
- Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong – and What You Really Need to Know by Emily Oster – This is a fascinating deep-dive into the data associated with all different pregnancy topics – weight gain, consuming alcohol and caffeine, pain meds, and more. If you’re an analytical, data-driven person like I am, this is a must-read. What I love about this book is that it really puts the pregnancy “rules” in perspective and provides concrete information gathered from multitudes of studies to help analyze them, so that you can make the most informed choices for your body and your baby. Being the science nerd that I am, I had actually done a lot of my own research on several of the topics discussed in the book already and had come to many of the same conclusions, but it was nice to have them confirmed by a data expert, and I was enlightened on whole new sets of studies over various topics that I hadn’t previously learned about.
- @prenatalnutritionist and @prenatal.dietitian on Instagram – Both of these prenatal dietitians provide helpful graphics, meal and snack ideas, recipes, and videos to help inform pregnant women of vital nutrients for baby’s growth and development, common nutrient deficiencies of pregnant women and foods that provide those nutrients, and myths about prenatal nutrition. The best part about these dietitians providing free advice and information on Instagram is that, if you’re someone like me, you scroll through Insta feed every day and therefore get little reminders and tidbits every day that help keep nutrition top of mind.
- The Ovia Pregnancy app – Besides having the fruit and veggie size comparisons week-by-week (or animal comparison, if you prefer!), this app provides a weight tracker, daily nutrition/food tracking, symptom lookup section, kick counter, recipes, articles, our favorite week-by-week videos, and so much more. I downloaded several pregnancy apps and would definitely recommend doing that since they contain different features and provide different information, but I found this one to be the most comprehensive and my personal favorite.
- The Tinybeans app – My mom had told me about this app that one of her friends likes for staying up to date on her grandson’s life without having to receive a million photos through texts or requiring her daughter-in-law to post them on public social media sites. Basically, you can share photos with close family members or whomever you invite to be part of your network, and they can choose whether they would like to get email notifications and/or just stay up to date through the app. I actually started using it immediately once I found out I was pregnant, and was able to post our journey through our pregnancy before anyone even knew. Then, when I announced it to my family, I set them up with the app so that they could follow along and look back on photos from Day 1. I plan on using this app to post frequent (maybe even daily) photos of our baby boy, as I think it will be especially nice for Jamie’s parents who live up in South Dakota. My favorite feature of the app is the calendar, which shows each month and little thumbnails of the pictures that were posted each day, and you can click on them and see them enlarged and read the captions. It’s a really fun way to look back on memories at different points in time and see how much a baby has grown.
- Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood – and Trusting Yourself and Your Body by Erica Chidi Cohen – I have not read this book, but it’s currently in the mail and headed my way! It certainly intrigues me with its holistic and judgement-free approach on self-care, emotional well-being, and trusting your instincts. Written by a doula who is also a lactation counselor and trained chef, the book includes fun goodies like journal prompts, exercises and stretches, and healthy recipes.
Postpartum
- The First 40 Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother by Heng Ou – I can’t wait to get my hands on this beautiful book! I love the idea of the first 40 days postpartum being restorative for a mother – I’m sure most mothers would probably say that it’s far from this, but I’d like to try to put myself in a different mindset right off the bat and do everything I can to care for my healing body and bonding with my newborn.
Breastfeeding/Formula-Feeding
- On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Robert Bucknam, M.D. – And what better gift is there to give for both mama and baby? I will go into more detail about the book in the “Sleeping” category below, but this book discusses both breastfeeding and formula-feeding and goes into detail about some of the issues you may encounter with feeding and how to troubleshoot them.
- womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding – This is a great resource for those considering breastfeeding or those who have chosen to do so. It includes information about the health benefits for you and your baby, learning about how to breastfeed, some challenges that you might face, storing breastmilk, and more.
Sleeping
- On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Robert Bucknam, M.D. – I’m listing this book again in the “Sleeping” category, since that’s really the whole premise of the book. A longtime pregnancy classic, I was recommended this book by multiple parents I know through various walks of life and of various ages, and for a good reason – it’s the most practical, detailed guide for getting your baby to sleep through the night. This book doesn’t employ the cry-it-out method as some might suspect, but it does assist in teaching your baby to self-soothe and put themself to sleep. The Babywise method encourages both routine schedules and flexibility, both of which are important for growth and development of babies. I love that this book includes schedules and checklists that you can fill out, which is perfect for notetakers/list-makers like myself and will certainly come in handy when Jamie and I bring home our bundle of joy and have to then function as living, sleep-deprived zombies!
- Taking Cara Babies online sleep classes – This is another resource that’s been recommended to me by four or more mothers that I know and gets rave reviews – the newborn class, which helps teach you how to get your child to sleep through the night, is well worth the $79, or so I hear. All the mamas I know who have done it had great success with it, and their kids are great sleepers to this day. Jamie and I haven’t taken the course yet, but we have it on our to-do list for before the baby is born. After learning all about the importance of sleep in the video from this post, I consider good nighttime sleep priceless, especially as you’re adjusting to so many other life changes with the birth of a child.
- Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman – I wrote a whole post on this book here, but I wanted to include it on this list as well, namely because it gives an interesting perspective on how to get babies to “do their nights,” as they call it in France, and provides tips such as doing “The Pause” before immediately picking up your baby in the middle of the night. There are many other great topics featured in the book, and it’s definitely worth the read. Check out my review of it for some of the other topics discussed.
Starting Solid Foods
- Hapa Family Baby Led Weaning series – I love Ashley’s Montessori videos, and I recently discovered that she also has a Baby Led Weaning series with five videos that help explain what baby led weaning is, how she has successfully done it with her girls, some first foods to serve and how to serve them, and how to teach babies to drink from an open cup. It is such a fun series to watch, especially since it includes some clips of her cute babes learning to eat, and she always links helpful resources below the videos as well. Ashley is a knowledgeable, down-to-earth girl-next-door mama with great tips and advice, and this series is perfect for any mom looking to learn more about baby led weaning.
- Solidstarts.com – This is a great website for all things baby led weaning. As you can tell, I’m a big proponent of BLW, and for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, baby led weaning is not actually weaning – it’s really a misnomer for the concept of skipping purees and introducing solid foods right away to your child. You can learn more using the resources listed in this section, but the Solid Starts website has a lot of tips and facts on BLW, as well as a database of foods that are safe for babies and recipe books and guides for purchase that help get your baby exposed to different foods and allergens early on (more about why you would want to do this is on their website).
- @fourtifiedfam on Instagram – This dietitian mom, Katie, and her 7(!) kids (including a set of quadruplets and twins!) were actually the source of my first introduction to BLW through their Instagram account. Katie fed her babies 100 first foods before they turned a year old, and I loved following along on their food journey. She provides information on what nutrients are critical for baby’s growth and development, the difference between gagging versus choking, and many other helpful tips and videos for feeding solid foods to your baby. You may have to scroll a bit to get to the BLW posts, but it is worth the time, and it’s also fun to keep up with her cute family (and fascinating to get an inside look at a mom of multiple multiples!). She (and her kids) are quite entertaining.
And that’s my exhaustive list of pregnancy resources, at least so far! I hope this gives some of you new moms some ideas of what resources might be helpful for you, as my friends and family were able to do for me… it truly takes a village, and I’m so thankful for the amazing advice that I’ve received so far from so many great parents out there.
When I started writing this post, I had every intention of discussing The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being by Simone Davies, as well as some other Montessori resources and toddler parenting topics, but for the sake of brevity (ha!), I’m going to save that for another post! We’ll leave it here, but again, please share your recommendations and reviews pregnancy and parenting resources – books, websites, videos, Insta accounts, or anything else that you’ve found helpful – because I would LOVE to hear about them!