The birth of a child is interesting in that it’s a day that you’ll never forget, yet the whole experience is a complete blur, almost in a way that makes you question whether it really happened (besides the fact that you now have a living, breathing human that requires your attention 24/7, haha). It’s true how quickly you forget the pain you endured – I really believe our brains block it out immediately for future reproductive purposes! You wonder for months, or maybe even years (if you’re like me!), about what your children’s births will be like, envisioning every scenario that you think could possibly happen, and yet there always seems to be some sort of curveball that you didn’t see coming. It’s a magical event, yet so UN-glamorous at the same time.
When my mom described Carson’s birth to her friends, she told them that it was very “Jessica-style” – I had been talking to her in the days prior to his birth that I really didn’t want to start laboring late in the night (I’m not a night person), and I started labor early in the morning on a Monday and Carson was born by the end of the day. She joked that I checked that off my to-do list for the week – very true-to-form for me! I was fortunate to have a relatively smooth labor and delivery and a healthy little boy. Here’s the full story (warning: long post alert, with some slightly graphic details ahead!):
We’ll start on Carson’s due date, January 23rd, which was the day that things started progressing. Up until that day, I had really felt very normal. My pregnancy had been smooth and uneventful, my sleep had been good, and I wasn’t even too uncomfortable like everyone says you’re supposed to be as it get close to giving birth. In fact, I had been starting to wonder if that was a bad sign… in my family, we tend to all be born after our due dates (my brother was actually born 13 days late), so I was beginning to think that we were a long way off from Carson’s birth and that he may have to be induced. I had been doing everything I could to encourage dilation and the onset of labor – eating dates and “labor-inducing” cookies, drinking raspberry leaf tea, doing lots of curb walking, etc. On the morning of his due date, I woke up feeling a little off. I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep (which was surprisingly rare for me, even at this stage of pregnancy), and strangely, when I took my morning vitamins that I took every day around the same time, I felt instantly nauseous, went to the bathroom, and texted Jamie, who was upstairs, that I thought I was going to throw up. I am not a person who vomits very often – hardly ever – and he came running down asking if I was okay, but I didn’t end up throwing up and the wave of nausea passed. It definitely raised a flag for me though, as I hadn’t even felt like I was going to throw up any other time during my whole pregnancy, even in the first trimester.
Besides feeling tired throughout that morning and afternoon, I wasn’t showing any other signs of the imminence of labor until after a walk. Jamie and I were taking lots of walks around the neighborhood at that time, and on those walks during those last few days is when I noticed more significant Braxton Hicks contractions. At the end of a mid-afternoon walk on that particular day, I had a Braxton Hicks contraction that seemed to last a pretty long time, and I also felt a sudden urge to pee (though not unusual for the end of pregnancy, haha), so I went to the bathroom as soon as I got home and saw that I had lost my mucus plug. I had been told that I was 1 centimeter dilated at the doctor’s office the day before, but I knew that people can walk around for weeks slightly dilated, so losing the mucus plug was encouraging! Maybe I wouldn’t have to wait a full week to meet our little guy! The rest of the evening, I waited for any additional signs of labor but didn’t experience anything significant. These were the last photos I took of my belly before I went into labor – I took them on his due date (note the VERY comfy sweatpants and tee that were basically my third trimester uniform, haha):
Fast forward to the following day, when once again, after a walk, I went to the bathroom and had my “bloody show” (it’s not as gross/scary as it sounds, thankfully). Things were progressing! Yet once again, the rest of the day went by and I went to bed without any signs of labor.
BUT around 3:45 am the following morning, January 25th, I woke up to a cramp low in my abdomen – unlike the Braxton Hicks contractions I had, it was slightly painful (though nothing too bad – just noticeable). I noted the time and dozed off again, only to wake up again at 45 minutes later with another one. It was a stormy morning with lightning and wind, and so neither Jamie nor I was in a deep sleep, and I mentioned to Jamie that I could possibly be in labor. The funny thing is that Jamie is the type who doesn’t like to get his hopes up, and since there had been some episodes of possible labor signs in the previous days, he said something along the lines of, “It could be labor, but it could also be a few days yet.” I remember rolling my eyes, thinking that this time it for sure felt different!
By 6 am, the contractions had picked up in frequency, and I felt confident that I was starting labor (and Jamie now believed me too, haha!). We started packing up our last minute items. I was having contractions every 15 minutes or so, but they weren’t too painful yet. We showered and ate breakfast (I had my usual peanut butter and banana toast), and then I rested – somewhat restlessly – and started getting into focus mode. It became hard to concentrate on anything else, not necessarily because of the pain, but instead because I think my body was preparing mentally for what it was about to go through. The weather had cleared up and it turned out to be a gorgeous sunny day, so we went for a short walk (stopping for the contractions as needed), talked to our families a few times, I sat on my exercise ball, and we sort of just waited around as the contractions gradually got more intense and more frequent.
Around 9:30, we felt that we might have to head to the hospital soon, as my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and pretty painful, but I was hungry and knew I wouldn’t be able to eat for a while after we went. Ironically, in the weeks before Carson’s birth, I had thought a lot about what my last meal before should be before we head to the hospital – you guys know that food is very important to me, after all – but our fridge actually went out two days before Carson’s due date. We had an appointment with the repairman scheduled and had bought a garage fridge in the meantime, but we had lost all of our food, so unfortunately we didn’t have too many options. I chose to make some orzo pasta, heated up some frozen green beans in the microwave, mixed them together, and ate with some butter, salt, and pepper! Not necessarily a stellar or super healthy “last meal at home before the baby is born,” but I remember thinking that it tasted really, really good!
At around 10:15 am, my contractions were 1 minute long, still 4-5 minutes apart, but very strong… I was definitely in a lot of pain, and I remember Jamie helping me through them as I tried different positions and he read off some of the Bible verses and birth affirmations that I had prepared. We left for the hospital soon after that – it was less than 10 minutes away, but of course by the time I got there, the contractions had reduced in intensity and I was worried that they would send me home. We took a short walk around the hospital parking lot before deciding to check in (I had to pee!), and on the elevator, I had another intense contraction and could hardly take the steps to exit the elevator. We were led to a triage room, where the nurse let me know that I was only 2 centimeters dilated but I was 80% effaced, which was definitely an improvement from Friday’s appointment, when I was 1 centimeter dilated and 30% effaced. She told me that they were going to monitor me for a couple of hours, and if I wasn’t progressing, I could decide whether to be induced or go home. That slightly stressed me out, because I certainly didn’t want to go home… but the nurse reassured us that she felt like I would progress on my own, based on my contractions (maybe she just said that to make me feel better, but it worked!). This was our last photo as a family of two:
My contractions had once again seemed to decrease in intensity, but we took a walk around the hallways, and that got them going again. Jamie and I chatted with each other and called our parents while we waited in the triage room and as I worked through each contraction – this part of labor felt long as we waited on the doctor to arrive. The contractions were now strong and frequent, and we were anxious to find out my status. Eventually, around 2 pm, my doctor arrived and informed us that I was now 4 centimeters dilated and was progressing well, so they would send me into the labor and delivery room. We were so happy!
At this point, my memory is a little blurred – I think because my pain increased quite a bit. They prepared our labor and delivery room, and then Jamie helped me walk to it (it felt very far away). I had some very extreme contractions during this journey and as I was getting settled in the room. This was definitely the peak of my pain, because once I was in the labor and delivery room, I asked for the epidural. It took a little bit for the anesthesiologist to show up, and in the meantime, they gave me a Covid-19 test (up my nostril… I’d never had one, and I hated it as much as I thought I would!). The epidural itself wasn’t bad at all – the Covid test felt worse than the epidural! The anesthesiologist did an excellent job with the epidural. I could move my legs and still had feeling in all areas, but I was very comfortable and couldn’t hardly feel any pain throughout the rest of the labor. After my epidural was administered, the doctor let me know that I was 5 centimeters dilated and still 80% effaced, which made me happy to know that I did experience a good portion of labor without an epidural, just to know what it feels like. But I highly recommend an epidural – 10/10! I think it helped me be more aware of what was going on, as I really do think my brain sort of blocked my memory during the more extreme times of pain. The doctor also broke my water to help progress things along. Unfortunately, my doctor also let me know that she wouldn’t be able to deliver my baby because she had been on call all weekend, so it would be a different doctor in their practice. Thankfully, I was mentally prepared for this to happen (I’ve read enough birth stories, haha!), and I rolled with the punches. (The nurses also informed us that they adored Dr. Walters, the doctor who would be delivering Carson, and I was in full agreement after the whole experience! She was awesome). I ate some chicken broth and gelatin (fun!) just to help reenergize for what was to come, and then I rested and even dozed off during the next several hours, although it felt shorter than this.
At around 8 pm, I was at 7 centimeters, and the doctor recommended giving me a small dose of Pitocin to increase the contractions and speed things up. To be honest, I had wanted to avoid Pitocin as a labor inducer if I could, but I was getting tired and ready to meet our boy, so I agreed to a small dose. Unfortunately, Carson didn’t react well to the Pitocin – his heart rate immediately started dipping down. (I found out later that I had reacted the same way to Pitocin when my mom had given birth to me.). They monitored his heart rate for a short while, though it felt like a long time, and it wasn’t getting better. I could tell that they were concerned, which made me worried, and I could see that Jamie was anxious too. They ended up stopping the Pitocin pretty quickly (although again, it felt like a long time for me), and they put me on oxygen to help stabilize the baby. This was also scary for me, as I associated oxygen with something going wrong, but because I had been wearing my mask up until this point (thanks, Covid-19), I did feel like the oxygen helped me relax a little once I got over the initial alarm of having to have it. Sure enough, with the oxygen and without the Pitocin, Carson’s heart rate went back to normal, and I continued to progress on my own without it.
Finally, at about 9:45 pm, I was fully dilated and effaced and ready to push. I remember thinking that it’s crazy how we find the energy to push after our bodies have already gone through so much, and I had it easy compared to many since my labor wasn’t super long! (My mom was in labor with me for 36 hours with no pain meds… God bless her). Jamie held one leg and the nurse held the other, and Dr. Walters told me that when I felt a contraction coming on, I should push for 10 seconds (they would count with me), and then breathe, and then push for 10 more seconds, and then breathe again, and then push for 10 more seconds, and then I would rest until the next contraction. It was more tiring than I thought, but Dr. Walters was very encouraging and was cheering for me, as was our our amazing nurse Jenson and my sweet husband, and I gave it everything I had, hoping to get that baby out ASAP! I remember being extremely thankful for the short periods of rest in between contractions, and I also remember watching Jamie’s face each time I pushed to give me any indication of how I was doing. He told me at one point, “We see his head! He has dark hair!” which was very encouraging to me, and after about 45 total minutes of pushing, at exactly 10:30 pm, I gave birth to Carson Woods Veurink. I felt him escape my body, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. He came out crying, and they immediately placed him on my chest, still wet and very warm, and it felt like just a few seconds before he calmed down and seemed right at home in my arms.
I was still in a daze for quite a few minutes after he was born, although I immediately started talking to him and stroking his soft little cone-shaped head. (Thankfully, the cone head reduced significantly within a matter of a few hours!) It was such an immense feeling of happiness and relief to have him in my arms. He was so tiny (why do just-born babies look so much bigger in photos than they really are?!), but he also looked so long! HIs hands were itty-bitty, and his eyes were open and looking around. I delivered the placenta and they stitched me up while I held him and nursed him, and an hour or so later, they got his weight and measurements, Vitamin K shot, etc. I barely felt anything that they were doing “down below” because I was so entranced this new little life.
We had texted our parents that “Baby V” was born about a half hour after his birth and that an official announcement would be sent to them soon. I wanted to enjoy the skin-to-skin time with him while I could, but I knew that everyone was excited to hear. We finally announced his name, weight (7 lb, 10 oz), length (21 inches), time of birth, and sent a photo to our parents and siblings a few minutes before midnight. This was the photo we sent:
Our bright-eyed little boy!
And do you see what I mean about him looking long?!
I was SO exhausted and still had to move to the next room for recovery/newborn care (so much room-changing!), so I knew that we wouldn’t be able to announce his birth to our friends and other family until the following day after I’d gotten a little rest. In our new room in the wee hours of the morning, our amazing neonatal nurse Kaitlyn gave me the rundown on how often she would be checking up, how often I would be feeding Carson, etc., and I could barely keep my eyes open! I was so relieved when she swaddled Carson and put him in his hospital bed beside me and turned out the lights. Jamie settled into his bed, and I watched Carson fall asleep and then immediately fell asleep myself.
When I awoke a few hours later to feed him, I realized just how tired I had been, and it felt like a dream come true to see our sweet baby boy in the flesh all over again. I couldn’t stop staring at him!
I took a shower (which made me feel SO much better) and the nurse helped us give Carson a sponge bath, since he hadn’t actually been bathed yet. Then we took more pictures and announced his arrival to the rest of our family, our friends, and posted on social media. We stayed in the hospital until Wednesday afternoon, and spent the rest of our time in the recovery room resting up, getting poked and prodded (well, at least Carson and I did), enjoying skin-to-skin time, and learning all about our baby boy.
The whole experience of being pregnant and giving birth made me completely in awe of the complexity of God’s design for a woman to grow a child inside of her. God was so purposeful with the human body and all its intricate functions, and while it’s amazing what we know now about pregnancy and birth, it’s also crazy what we don’t know yet. There were several times during my pregnancy when I asked my doctor about something, and she told me, “Honestly, no one knows why this is/what exactly takes place/how that works yet.” There is still so much to learn about the human body, which is pretty wild given science and technology these days! It’s so humbling. I am thrilled to have gotten to experience labor and delivery, and we couldn’t love our precious son more.
Thank you for reading our story and being with us through our pregnancy! I am excited to share our postpartum experience and more about parenting in general. We are learning every day!
P.S. My first, second, and third trimester updates, if you’re interested!